Tuesday, July 28, 2009
resolution
I talked to Tiff yesterday. I simply told her that I don't care what she does as long as it makes her happy, but to do it for her, not for her pride, to push away embarrassement, to keep people from looking at her differently, but for her happiness. To truly step back and see if HE is willing to make the commitment to change. I told her that was all I could tell her. I also told her that I don't want him in my home. He has never been respectful to me and I don't have to deal with him if I don't want to. That she would always be welcome, but he is not. It was my decision. I told her I loved her, but couldn't sit back and watch her get continually abused, be it not physical but mental, and say nothing. So to alleviate the situation, I would be there for her if she needed me, but that I couldn't be around them together and to simply not mention her marital problems to me. This is hard for me. I have always been there for her to talk about ANYTHING with, but when you are going to get pissy with me for giving my two-cents, you lose that benefit. My friends are hard lovers. We tell each other exactly what we think. I think that's a good thing. You either take the advice or leave it, you don't get angry with someone for saying something that you don't want to hear. I just refuse to stress myself out over her situation anymore. period.
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Good for you! I think that's the best you can do. She'll learn the hard way. But you've done what you can for her and said your piece. She's lucky to have you as her friend!
ReplyDeleteSo how did she react?
ReplyDeleteI agree completely with your approach. Good friends don't sit around quietly while someone they care about is making choices that hurt them.
You did good! You've done a lot more than many people would do and you're honest with her which is something a lot of people aren't, even with friends. She is lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteShe said she understood, but sounded hurt. Im sure this will make her even more scarce around my place, especially since she has been MIA pretty much since they got married because she all of a sudden can't do anything that doesn't involve him, but oh well, she needs to woman up.
ReplyDeleteI had to do this EXACT same thing with one of my best friends and with my cousin. Its hard but you needed to do it and she needed to hear it. Good for you!
ReplyDelete