Wednesday, December 30, 2009

She did it.
She finally left him.
My phone rang at 6am this morning. It was Tiffany. The quiet, meek voice that had taken her over for 2 years now gone, the strong, confident woman I know back on the line.
"I did it. I left him. I moved out at 2am last night. I refuse to do it anymore."
After over a year and a half of not knowing where her husband was each night, drunken fights at 2am, cheating, piles of hidden disgusting porn, disrespect, and no concern for her feelings, she had had enough. Just last week he promised to change for the baby in her belly. It look exactly 4 days for him to go right back to what he was doing. Little did he know, she went and actually got separation papers last week because she knew he wouldn't change.
She is filing them today. Calling her lawyer today.
She is past the point of being sad that her marriage is over, she has watched it die as she furiously tried to keep it alive for the past 2 years. She is just angry now. At that point where she feels stupid for putting herself in the position she is in. He had her fooled. He has us all fooled that he was a good guy. He never drank like that before, never looked at other women, was respectful of her feelings. Then the facade disappeared for good a few weeks after the wedding.
She has support. Mine, her mothers, her fathers, her sister, her brothers, her other friends. She has plenty of doors open to her now.
Im proud that she is finally standing up for herself again. I am happy that my strong friend is back...she was just sleeping inside her. Her baby woke her back up.
And she told me "Thank you for always being there and telling me the truth."
She is going to be the best mother ever.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I have been so super busy, that I haven't been able to post anything in a while...other than my rant. I try not to do that too often, so you all get a break for a while.

New developments.
Kevin had a job interview last thursday with a tool and dye company. He called the owner monday and was told that he probably wouldn't hear anything till after the holidays because he was so busy, but that Kevin was his first choice and he was still mulling over what to offer him paywise. This is fantastic news! Most of the people that work there make between 18-22 and hour. This makes Haley happy. The work schedule is also set up in such a way that kevin can still go to school. He will work 4 12 hour shifts thurs, fri, sat, and sun.
Kevin actually went and signed up for 13 credit hours on thursday as well. Im quite proud. He starts school the 13th. I hope he sticks with it!

We have also been working diligently on our bookshelf project for our nephew, Turner. It is a bookshelf that Grandpa Steinbauer made. We can't do everything to it that we originally wanted, but nonetheless, it will still look nice and clean and neutral enough that he can hold on to it his entire life. I will be happy when it is done. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and we really wanted to be able to give it to him then.

I got into a pair of jeans I haven't worn in over a year. This makes me very, very, very, very, very, very ,very happy. My journey there continues.

I hope you all have a wonderful break and get to spend ample times with your families and the ones you love!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Teenage love

You know those commercials about the "when does caring become abuse" where the boy is constantly texting his girlfriend while dressed up like a giant know the one "nude pics. send some."
Well, what happens when it isn't just texting...and when it isn't the boy trying to control the girl, but the girl controlling the boy?
Im worried about my youngest brother, Jake. He has been seeing a girl for a little over a year now. Jake is 19...this girl, Bridget, is 16...just turned 16. She is the most manipulative, bipolar, slutty, controlling, disrespectful little girl I have ever met.
My brother is not the brother that I know. He is a shell of himself...completely devoid of the person he once was, now just a slave to her. He isn't allowed to have any friends and therefore has none. His old best friend, Dawson, talks to me and is constantly worrying about Jake. He misses him, but no matter how many times he calls or texts, he gets no response back. And it's not just friends. When Jake worked for the same company as my husband, he called off so much and left early so many times because Bridget would call with a "migraine" and "NEED" him, that he lost his job there. He told my mom that he quit, but in reality, they fired destroyed the relationship between Jake and Kevin. Now, Jake hardly sees his family. He comes home from her house and goes straight upstairs to talk on the phone with her until he goes to bed. He isn't happy, but he won't leave.
She has him beat down...convinced that he isn't good enough, worthless, unwanted. Jake is the last person I ever thought this would happen to. Jake is beautiful...I mean, gorgeous. Everytime I show someone his picture, the first thing they say is how attractive he is an they immediately either want his number (if they are younger) or want to know if he is single (if they are older, for their daughters.) He was approached by Abercrombie to model...did he, no-she wouldn't let him.
He had a learning disability all through school and was always down on himself about that, and I think she has exposed this side of him more and made him believe that he isn't worth anything. It drives me crazy.
I sat and talked with my mom and stepdad for 3 hours last night about it. They are so concerned and at a loss of what to do anymore. They are afraid they are losing their son. I watched as my mom teared up and my stepdad (who I have NEVER seen cry) held back tears and choke up as he told me how scared he was.
Her family is crazy. Her mother is bipolar (literally) and the father has no backbone. Bridget is made to have no responsibilities and is given everything she wants whether the family can afford it or not. She believes that the world revolves around her. He older brother had 2 children and another on the way that he has nothing to do with. He had a dishonorable discharge from the navy and is a coke addict. He is a waste of breath. He thought it was funny to teach his oldest son to call his new dad, a black man, a nigger to his face. Nice guy, huh. Worthless. Her younger brother, who is 9, calls his mother a bitch on a daily basis and tried to stab her. What did the mother do? Nothing, just left the room crying. No punishment, no talk about it afterwards, nothing. Her mother thinks it is completely ok to have Jake listed as Bridget's emergency contact on her school card.
The way she dresses is beyond ridiculous. Low cut shirts with her breasts hanging out, teeny-tiny skirts that barely cover her ass. You can see the embarrassment on Jake's face. He talks about how mad he gets when they go out because guys comment about how slutty she looks. Does she change how she dresses to make him feel, because she loves the attention. It doesn't help that I know she cheats on him. I have a list of boys names from a girl she goes to school with. It is sick. And what would Jake do to these boys if he found out? And can he understand that he will go to jail if he takes action against them? He is 19...they are under 18.

What scares me the most is that Jake doesn't see how messed up all this is. He doesn't see that she doesn't love him, she is just using him for money and because she can control him. He doesn't see that he is pushing his family away and hurting the ones that DO love him. He has lost all of his friends. He can't enjoy the things that he used to love in life. When he got a deer this year, he couldn't tell her for 3 days because he knew she would get mad because he went hunting when she was at school. Jake used to hunt every single day during hunting is his passion. He is good at it but apparently now, he has to have a 16 year old's permission in order to do anything. It is just sick.
I don't know what to do about it. I can't stand to be around her. She is fake and I have caught her in too many lies to deal with her anymore. I hate how she treats my brother. I hate what this little girl is doing to my family and I worry about how much more worse it will get. I am truly scared that if they do break up, he will try to kill himself. I know he would. I don't question that at all. She has destroyed my brother and I hate her for it.
I wish terrible things for her, things that I can't say on here. I know it is wrong. But it would solve everything.
I wish she would just disappear. I wish Jake could see that he is worth more than the thoughts of a 16 year old girl. I wish. I wish. I wish.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

One of my best friend's from high school, Andy's, grandfather passed last night.
It is so sad. I went to several school dances with Andy and we always stopped by his grandma and grandpa's house for pictures before hand. They were the cutest couple in the world. He doted on her and she looked at him with so much love.
Every morning I drive by their house at 6:30am. Every morning I would see them sitting in their breakfast nook eating breakfast together. Seeing them there every morning gave me hope that love gets stronger every year that you are together. I joke with Andy that if I ever get a divorce, I am coming after him and we are going to be like his grandparents...but only if he makes me breakfast every morning...he is a chef.
I hate that she had to lose her husband right before Christmas. I hate that Andy lost his grandfather. I hate that I won't see them in the morning anymore.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Shifting weight

I've lost 7lbs and more importantly 8" off my body so far. I am down a pant size and my bras are getting big. Thank God. I am into my groove at the gym and only miss one day per week which is my recovery day. My diet has much improved and I haven't fallen off the wagon and eaten an entire gallon of ice cream yet. I think this means I am doing it the right way. I have a nice balanced diet instead of denying myself everything. Kicking pop/soda/mountain dew was easier than expected as well. My new favorite drink...FUZE tropical punch or strawberry melon. No fat, 5 cal, no carbs, or sugars. They are tasty and good for you!

My husband, on the other hand, has managed to gain the weight I have lost. Since hitting the road, he has gained enough weight to make him go from a 32x34 to a 36x34...WTF!?! It doesn't bother me, I would love him no matter what he looked like. But he has never gained any weight. I am glad he gets to see how it feels for once. He has only been on the road twice...for a little over a week the first time and 5 days the second time. That is a lot of weight to gain in that little of time. I think he is seeing how active he normally is compared to sitting behind a steering wheel all day...and the Jared diet doesn't work when you are sedentarty...he proves this.

I made turkey burgers with gouda last night. Kevin wasn't such a fan...he likes his red meat. I do too, but I love turkey burgers...and the tomato basil bocca burgers...super yummy! I will ease those onto him...I see mutiny if I introduce them too quickly.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Maple Twists... remind me of my Papa so much. As a child, I spent the night with my Momo and Papa every other Friday, altrenating with my brother, Tanner. Fridays were spent with Momo, doing her grocery shopping and having a private dinner with her followed by TGIF and 20/20. Saturday morning, you got to eat breakfast with Papa when he came in from his morning routine while you watched Saturday morning cartoons. We always had Maple Twists and coffee...well my coffee was more milk than coffee...but there was coffee in there so I blame my grandparents for my current addiction with the delicious beverage. We would sit with our maple twist and dunk it into our coffee. We didn't have to talk. We just sat together and ate...usually with him in his chair and me on the floor using the stool/mini-table that he made in high school. After we ate, he went back outside to do more work...never one to sit for very long. The smell of maple twists brings back so many memories. I broke down on wednesday and bought some. I know I shouldn't, but I wanted them and I am glad that I got them. It's crazy how something so trivial can bring back so many happy times.
Papa has since moved on to cream sticks from the local bakery...since he has gotten dentures, he just can't taste food like he used too, but he sure can taste the sugary sweetness of a cream stick. It is his main food staple now, but he is in such good health, no one cares (except for my diabetic grandma who can't have them and is jealous.) He may have moved on to cream sticks, but I will be forever in love with maple twists...and my Papa.