I got a call from my husband this morning (who is in Boston delivering tons of carrots to a foodbank) saying that he missed me so much and wished he were home.
He asked if I missed him...while I do, I am enjoying being on my own for a few days. I didn't want to tell him this and hurt his feelings...he sounded so sad on the phone. I think we needed the time away from each other desprately. We have been up each other's butts for months now since he has been laid off. He gets bored and calls me at least 6 times per day at work and that just isn't cool with me. Plus, last weekend was rough. I need this vacation from him.
What I wanted to reply was, "If you miss me so much now, why were you such a dick on Friday night? Why did you torment me all day Saturday if you love me so much you can't stand to be away from me?" I try to let the past be the past so I didn't. Im just enjoying the time by myself, doing the things that I want to do...which has mainly been cleaning, working out, and eating right for once.
I get it, he's in a truck cab with one other person for hours on end each day. I get to go to work, go to the gym, go home and relax, and eat home cooked meals. He doesn't even have the luxury of a shower unless they stop at a truck stop equipped with one. BUT, he gets to see the countryside and go places that I have never been. I want to go to Boston so bad! We have a saying, "The Baston Dag goes Bak, Bak!" Because we are losers and love our animals, we think about how a Boston accent would sound on our dog. Yes, we are lame. But it is funny and has been a running joke for 2 years now. I want to see Boston, I want to see New York City, I want to see the country side down south when he drives to Florida later this week. I would love to see this all with him, but am loving my single life for the time being. I think its a good trade off.
Am I horrible for feeling this way? I don't think so. I think we need breaks away from the ones we love so that we appreciate them that much more. Why do you think your favorite aunts and uncles are the ones that live farthest away?! Because you appreciate when you do get to see them because of distance and make that time together worthwhile.
I refuse to feel guilty, and I refuse to act like a desparate housewife on the phone begging for her husband to return quickly.