Well, I am all set up in my new office in Sandusky. It is so nice to be back. Soooo nice. I love how all the smiling faces walk by and welcome me back and tell me how happy they are to have my smiling face here. I love that my boss was here in the morning for a meeting, stopped by to complain about me not being there, and left. I love the quiet. I love the fact that I have already been able to get caught up because Im not being interupted by patient's walking into my office in the "employee only area." I loved my 10 min. drive. I love the fact that I can go home for lunch if I choose to. There are just so many things that make me happy about this move. I get to stay with the company that I like but be closer to home.
I guess my co-workers in Lorain aren't so happy, but I figure that they will eventually get over this. Becky called me at 10am saying that she misses me. I miss her too, but she is pretty much the only one. As sad as that sounds. The people in Sandusky are just so much nicer. So much happier. So much more positive than those in Lorain. And let me tell you, the negativity in Lorain was really getting to me. I was becoming an unhappy person, and anyone that knows me knows that that is not true.
I like that I can go to doctor's appointments on my lunch. I like that I can get together with my girlfriend that works down the road for lunch. I like that Kevin can suprise me with lunch now like he did when I was at the hospital.
I especially like that I can make it home by 5:20...and that's WITH traffic. With traffic from Lorain, 6:30...big difference there. HUGE.
Ah, it is good to be back home.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Moving day!
It's moving day at my office. I got the official go ahead to transfer to Sandusky on Monday. I have brought in all my milk crates to move all my files, binders, and supplies. I'm pretty stoked. I am looking forward to my 10 min drive. I am looking forward to the fact that I will be spending $15 a week in gas instead of $40. I'm trying to figure out how to spend the extra cash...probably bills, but I will most definitly get myself a treat like a new purse...purses are hard for me to spend money on. I use them till they fall apart. It's the only item I am really frugal on, yet I collect antique purses...do the math. Im crazy.
I plan on still getting up at the same time, but actually get to work out before work, saving on the chance that I will talk myself out of going to the gym after work. I think it is a good plan. Now that Kevin is off work as well, he is going to go with me. I always workout better when I have a partner and we can keep each other motivated and accountable for our actions. I figure we can start the P90X program again. My gym is set up with an area to do this is, so that is really nice. Plus then I don't have to go out and buy a second pull up bar and try to figure out where I can hang it in my home.
All in all, I think the move to Sandusky will make a huge change for me...more time for myself+more physical activity=a happier Haley.
I plan on still getting up at the same time, but actually get to work out before work, saving on the chance that I will talk myself out of going to the gym after work. I think it is a good plan. Now that Kevin is off work as well, he is going to go with me. I always workout better when I have a partner and we can keep each other motivated and accountable for our actions. I figure we can start the P90X program again. My gym is set up with an area to do this is, so that is really nice. Plus then I don't have to go out and buy a second pull up bar and try to figure out where I can hang it in my home.
All in all, I think the move to Sandusky will make a huge change for me...more time for myself+more physical activity=a happier Haley.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
School of not-so-hard knocks
Kevin has been laid off now for about a month. Yesterday he had to go to job and family services for a group meeting. He was not thrilled about it...actually, he was furious that he had to go. Judging by the "worksheets" they were having him fill out, it looked like it was going to be a boring day. He calls me at 4pm yesterday and said the first 5 hours were horrible. Trapped in a room with a bunch of deadbeats who you can tell are living off the system, going over how to fill out an application for hours and what a resume should look like and how to dress appropriately for an interview. He went to a tech school...they had a whole class on this. I had a college professor that taught me everything about how to make a perfect resume...believe me, our resumes are kickass. So this portion was torture for him. It didn't help that he got stuck sitting next to someone that was making comments the entire time about how he doesn't ever plan on getting a job cause his "ancestors worked enough fo' him." No shit. I would have lost my temper...I don't know how Kevin didn't.
The only bright side out of this meeting was when he finally got to sit down with his case worker. She reviewed his resume and of course was impressed. Kevin is a damn hard worker. He is skilled and self-driven. It is driving him nuts that no where is hiring in this area right now. He cuts wood daily to sell and is doing lots of outdoor and indoor projects at our house. One thing I can say is he is not lazy and when it comes to hands on stuff, he can master just about anything. Well his case manager noticed this to and is applying him for a grant to go to a local community college to get his welding certificate and any other trade skills that he wants. Bonus! She is also putting his name into some type of government program that matches well qualified candidates with jobs with companies that do a lot of government contracts. One of them just happens to be at a quarry that he has wanted to work at since he was a kid. She is also going to look into ways for him to apply for a job with catapillar as a traveling service mechanic for the company...his true dream job.
So it turned out that the meeting wasn't a complete waste of his time and I have never heard him more excited. He is meeting with her again today to fill out all the grant paperwork. I hope that he is able to gain a lot of education from this little set back. I hope that he also finds a company to work for that truly appreciates his great work ethic, can-do attitude, and talents. I hope he finally finds his niche and feels like he is doing something worthwhile. He needs that. It is also nice that the government does have programs like this for individuals who really want to work, who really want to succeed, and really want to make this country a better place.
Kevin looks up to the WWII generation, always stating that there will never be another generation of hard working, dedicated, united Americans like that again. I truly believe he belonged in that time period...
The only bright side out of this meeting was when he finally got to sit down with his case worker. She reviewed his resume and of course was impressed. Kevin is a damn hard worker. He is skilled and self-driven. It is driving him nuts that no where is hiring in this area right now. He cuts wood daily to sell and is doing lots of outdoor and indoor projects at our house. One thing I can say is he is not lazy and when it comes to hands on stuff, he can master just about anything. Well his case manager noticed this to and is applying him for a grant to go to a local community college to get his welding certificate and any other trade skills that he wants. Bonus! She is also putting his name into some type of government program that matches well qualified candidates with jobs with companies that do a lot of government contracts. One of them just happens to be at a quarry that he has wanted to work at since he was a kid. She is also going to look into ways for him to apply for a job with catapillar as a traveling service mechanic for the company...his true dream job.
So it turned out that the meeting wasn't a complete waste of his time and I have never heard him more excited. He is meeting with her again today to fill out all the grant paperwork. I hope that he is able to gain a lot of education from this little set back. I hope that he also finds a company to work for that truly appreciates his great work ethic, can-do attitude, and talents. I hope he finally finds his niche and feels like he is doing something worthwhile. He needs that. It is also nice that the government does have programs like this for individuals who really want to work, who really want to succeed, and really want to make this country a better place.
Kevin looks up to the WWII generation, always stating that there will never be another generation of hard working, dedicated, united Americans like that again. I truly believe he belonged in that time period...
Check this out...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Bridging, mending, hoping
My nieces, Emma and April, are back in town from MO. They are here for the rest of the month of October and I am uber excited.
I am excited because next week we are taking them to see "Where The Wild Things Are," which I am super excited about anyways because it has been one of my favorite books since childhood. I am also excited because it is Emma and April's favorite book. I have a kids bookshelf at the top of my stairs and it is the first place they go when they get to my house. The first book grabbed is always WTWTR. I guess Emma has been talking about the movie since she first saw the preview. She is a little tomboy and reminds me of Max in a way, so I am sure she will connect the with movie the most.
We are also planning on taking the girls to the circus. Barnum and Bailey will be in town at the end of the month. It will be my first real circus (aside from the circuses that are set up in grocery store parking lots.) We are hoping to find out what route the train is taking to take the girls to see the train roll in with all the animals and super fancy cars. I saw it once as a child pass through Bellevue. It was amazing! I want them to have that same experience.
I am kind of hoping that the girls being in town sans mom will make Kevin have to talk to his mother. He has not talked to her in over 3 1/2 years now. He had a huge falling out with his father (I don't blame him) but it cost him his relationship with his mother...basically because it puts her in a potentially dangerous situtation if his dad knows that Judy is talking to Kevin...Kevin's father is abusive but kevin's mother will not leave him...even though both of her children have offered her a place to stay, for free-and his dad has no clue where we live. Its a sad situation, but I am hoping that when I call Judy to set up a time to get the kids, I can pass the phone off to Kevin and they can actually talk. Im hoping. Fingers crossed.
Kevin has pent up anger about his mother. He feels like she chose her husband over her child, but he can't see the position she is in. A long time abused woman doesn't always have the strength to leave a husband, even if she has an out. He can't look at it from that point of view. He just thinks she is weak. He can't see that she loves him and is praying for that one day when she wakes up and her husband is different. She still has that hope. That is what she told me when I asked her to come stay with me. She looked me in the eyes, with tears brimming and said, "I can't leave him yet. I still believe he can change. He loves me, he is just sick. I can't give up on him yet." It broke my heart and infuriated me, but now I understand. Kind of. Im just hoping that Kevin is able to reconnect with his mother before it is too late and he doesn't have the choice.
I am hoping Emma and April can be that bridge without even knowing it. I love when April comes over and puts her hands on her hips, furrows her brows, and says to kevin, "Grandma's mad at you! You better call her! She said you hurt her feelings!" I love how a child's innocent words can speak volumes. Kevin cried in front of me about his mother that night. Those girls make him see what he is missing. They make him see that maybe he needs to make that first step.
I have always contacted Judy at work. I don't dare call her at home, for fear that his father would answer...there is still a lot of hate there. I don't think I could even hold back my words. I said my peace to him the day that we moved out, but he can open wounds with small attacking words. Plus, Judy can be herself at work and not have to mask who she is talking to, plus she can keep secret the fact that she is talking to me. I hate that it has to be that way, but I will hold onto the fringe of a relationship that we have left that way until it can be more again. I know that someday we will be able to sit and drink coffee and talk for hours again. I just don't know when that day will be. I miss her so much.
I am excited because next week we are taking them to see "Where The Wild Things Are," which I am super excited about anyways because it has been one of my favorite books since childhood. I am also excited because it is Emma and April's favorite book. I have a kids bookshelf at the top of my stairs and it is the first place they go when they get to my house. The first book grabbed is always WTWTR. I guess Emma has been talking about the movie since she first saw the preview. She is a little tomboy and reminds me of Max in a way, so I am sure she will connect the with movie the most.
We are also planning on taking the girls to the circus. Barnum and Bailey will be in town at the end of the month. It will be my first real circus (aside from the circuses that are set up in grocery store parking lots.) We are hoping to find out what route the train is taking to take the girls to see the train roll in with all the animals and super fancy cars. I saw it once as a child pass through Bellevue. It was amazing! I want them to have that same experience.
I am kind of hoping that the girls being in town sans mom will make Kevin have to talk to his mother. He has not talked to her in over 3 1/2 years now. He had a huge falling out with his father (I don't blame him) but it cost him his relationship with his mother...basically because it puts her in a potentially dangerous situtation if his dad knows that Judy is talking to Kevin...Kevin's father is abusive but kevin's mother will not leave him...even though both of her children have offered her a place to stay, for free-and his dad has no clue where we live. Its a sad situation, but I am hoping that when I call Judy to set up a time to get the kids, I can pass the phone off to Kevin and they can actually talk. Im hoping. Fingers crossed.
Kevin has pent up anger about his mother. He feels like she chose her husband over her child, but he can't see the position she is in. A long time abused woman doesn't always have the strength to leave a husband, even if she has an out. He can't look at it from that point of view. He just thinks she is weak. He can't see that she loves him and is praying for that one day when she wakes up and her husband is different. She still has that hope. That is what she told me when I asked her to come stay with me. She looked me in the eyes, with tears brimming and said, "I can't leave him yet. I still believe he can change. He loves me, he is just sick. I can't give up on him yet." It broke my heart and infuriated me, but now I understand. Kind of. Im just hoping that Kevin is able to reconnect with his mother before it is too late and he doesn't have the choice.
I am hoping Emma and April can be that bridge without even knowing it. I love when April comes over and puts her hands on her hips, furrows her brows, and says to kevin, "Grandma's mad at you! You better call her! She said you hurt her feelings!" I love how a child's innocent words can speak volumes. Kevin cried in front of me about his mother that night. Those girls make him see what he is missing. They make him see that maybe he needs to make that first step.
I have always contacted Judy at work. I don't dare call her at home, for fear that his father would answer...there is still a lot of hate there. I don't think I could even hold back my words. I said my peace to him the day that we moved out, but he can open wounds with small attacking words. Plus, Judy can be herself at work and not have to mask who she is talking to, plus she can keep secret the fact that she is talking to me. I hate that it has to be that way, but I will hold onto the fringe of a relationship that we have left that way until it can be more again. I know that someday we will be able to sit and drink coffee and talk for hours again. I just don't know when that day will be. I miss her so much.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
random musings and thoughts
Im sitting at my desk at lunch, being a good girl, eating a turkey sandwich, 1/2 cup of low fat cottage cheese, and a yummy red delicious apple...my favorite (I can eat a whole bag in one sitting if I want to...I blame it on the fact that I grew up with a farm market in my family and the best apples around) Anyways, Im feeling stagnant again and I hate it. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I was laid up for a week, unable to do anything and I went straight back to work with no "fun" day between the two. Or it could be the fact that my boss is actually mad that I missed a week of work because I had emergency surgery and it's making me want to bitch slap her and scream, "PEOPLE HAVE EMERGENCIES, GET OVER IT!" Or it could be this undying feeling that I want to go back to school but can't seem to find a program that I like that fits into my schedule and budget. Arg. Im trying to stay positive on this one, it's just that all the local colleges around here that offer weekend classes suck ass and have stupid programs. Eventually I will break down and take up evening and weekend jobs and go back to school fulltime...money just won't let me right now....that and the fact that I need health insurance.
Oh my God, this apple is delish! I want about 6 more. now. I left the rest at home for a reason. Did you know that apples have an addictive substance in their peel? That is why you crave more after you have had one. I know people that have quit smoking by exchanging cigarettes for apples. That's pretty cool. And healthy.
My sister in law has made me have a craving to change my hair. It is getting way long again. I think I want to go short again, but hate all the work that comes with it. But I want something different.
My husband has been hanging out with a 19 year old kid that he used to work with. He's nice and all, but I can only handle so many sexual remarks in one day...he reaches my limit within 15 min. He can turn anything you say into a sexual inuendo. It pisses me off, but makes me laugh at the same time. He is so not a suave guy. He needs to turn on his filter and not say everything that pops in his head...like, "she can ride my meatstick." as I flip past a chick on dancing with the stars, or "I'll give you something to dip your apple in" as I walk into my living room with sliced apples and caramel dip. really. he said that last night. That's when I yelled that I am a girl to him and told him not to talk to me that way, especially in my house...that it was disrespectful. Kevin just laughed. And then asks me 10 seconds later to hook him up with my hot cousin. That got a big laugh out of me. Dork. Yeah right. Then he assures me that he can be a perfect gentleman when he wants to. I informed him that he needs to be one to me because, hey, Im a chick. I don't want to be talked to like Im another guy in the room all the time.
I talked to Kevin about possibly doing the half marathon in Akron like Tanner and Jen did this year, next year. He is all for it. We are going to start training as soon as I am healed up enough to start running again. I think it would be awesome to eventually do a full marathon. We will see what happens.
Oh my God, this apple is delish! I want about 6 more. now. I left the rest at home for a reason. Did you know that apples have an addictive substance in their peel? That is why you crave more after you have had one. I know people that have quit smoking by exchanging cigarettes for apples. That's pretty cool. And healthy.
My sister in law has made me have a craving to change my hair. It is getting way long again. I think I want to go short again, but hate all the work that comes with it. But I want something different.
My husband has been hanging out with a 19 year old kid that he used to work with. He's nice and all, but I can only handle so many sexual remarks in one day...he reaches my limit within 15 min. He can turn anything you say into a sexual inuendo. It pisses me off, but makes me laugh at the same time. He is so not a suave guy. He needs to turn on his filter and not say everything that pops in his head...like, "she can ride my meatstick." as I flip past a chick on dancing with the stars, or "I'll give you something to dip your apple in" as I walk into my living room with sliced apples and caramel dip. really. he said that last night. That's when I yelled that I am a girl to him and told him not to talk to me that way, especially in my house...that it was disrespectful. Kevin just laughed. And then asks me 10 seconds later to hook him up with my hot cousin. That got a big laugh out of me. Dork. Yeah right. Then he assures me that he can be a perfect gentleman when he wants to. I informed him that he needs to be one to me because, hey, Im a chick. I don't want to be talked to like Im another guy in the room all the time.
I talked to Kevin about possibly doing the half marathon in Akron like Tanner and Jen did this year, next year. He is all for it. We are going to start training as soon as I am healed up enough to start running again. I think it would be awesome to eventually do a full marathon. We will see what happens.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Alive and kicking...
I had quite a tumultuous weekend last week. After feeling shitty the entire weekend and finally sick of dealing with the pain. I called my doc on sunday and asked him what I should do. My pain we out of control. I couldn't get comfortable and it felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly. The pain had be vomitting and dry heaving to the point where I broke every blood vessel in my face. I was pretty. He said that my pain wasn't in line with ovarian cysts and that I needed to get to the ER.
I get there. They immediatly take me back to a room...they being a guy that I graduated with that was voted best looking on senior day...he just looked at me and said, "wow, you look horrible." I said thanks.
Dilaudid...doesn't touch my pain. By the time my doctor is finally called in, after suffering through an abdominal x-ray, then CT scan where I could barely keep my legs straight, my pain is out of control again. I am crying, moaning, and unable to lay still on my bed. My doc walks in, looks at the ER doc and asks why my pain isn't under control. He immediately calls for the nurse to give me demerol now. I was quite happy after my shot of demerol...finally the pain was under control. All my tests came back negative except for the cyst on my left ovary that we already knew about. My doc was convinced there was something else going on. Off to emergency surgery I go.
They found that I had ovarian torsion...that is, my ovary was strangling itself. It had literally tied the ligament/tube that held it in place in a knot and would allow blood flow in, but not back out so the blood that was in the ovary would eventually die and become stagnant. My body was being poisoned by my angry ovary. This is why I have been so sick lately with nausea, vomitting, and diarrhea. My body was trying to tell me that it was bad. So, basically, I got my wish. The doctor removed my angry ovary and I have a lovely incision to prove it. I am excited to get back on the road to recovery and eventually be able to do a sit up again...still struggling with that one!
I am hoping to not have anymore suprises with my lady parts for a long, long time. I think I have had my fair share for this year...it is someone elses turn. Any takers?
I get there. They immediatly take me back to a room...they being a guy that I graduated with that was voted best looking on senior day...he just looked at me and said, "wow, you look horrible." I said thanks.
Dilaudid...doesn't touch my pain. By the time my doctor is finally called in, after suffering through an abdominal x-ray, then CT scan where I could barely keep my legs straight, my pain is out of control again. I am crying, moaning, and unable to lay still on my bed. My doc walks in, looks at the ER doc and asks why my pain isn't under control. He immediately calls for the nurse to give me demerol now. I was quite happy after my shot of demerol...finally the pain was under control. All my tests came back negative except for the cyst on my left ovary that we already knew about. My doc was convinced there was something else going on. Off to emergency surgery I go.
They found that I had ovarian torsion...that is, my ovary was strangling itself. It had literally tied the ligament/tube that held it in place in a knot and would allow blood flow in, but not back out so the blood that was in the ovary would eventually die and become stagnant. My body was being poisoned by my angry ovary. This is why I have been so sick lately with nausea, vomitting, and diarrhea. My body was trying to tell me that it was bad. So, basically, I got my wish. The doctor removed my angry ovary and I have a lovely incision to prove it. I am excited to get back on the road to recovery and eventually be able to do a sit up again...still struggling with that one!
I am hoping to not have anymore suprises with my lady parts for a long, long time. I think I have had my fair share for this year...it is someone elses turn. Any takers?
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