Kevin took Bully to the reservoir yesterday to let him run around and play and leap and jump and sniff and bound through the open fields there.
He came home with another dog.
While Kevin was there, her kept noticing a little beagle running around, from group of people to group of people. When the little dog finally got to Kevin, he saw that the dog was dirty and that someone had removed its collar. This res is out in the middle of no where...people in our area are notorious for driving out to BFE and dropping off unwanted pets. It is how I got most of my cats and one dog growing up. Bastards. The dog was extremely friendly so Kevin picked her up and brought her home. (don't worry, he checked all the local houses to make sure she didn't slip her collar and take off.)
She is a little female beagle, fixed now, but once had pups...you can tell from her giant momma teets. I estimate that she is 3-4 years old. Extremely sweet, housebroken, and gentle. It breaks my heart that someone threw her out like trash. She is precious. She even toughed it out through a shower with Kevin and didn't once whine. We are trying to find her a good home, but it seems like no one wants her...it is early though. I have hope. If we are not able to find her a home, we have no choice but to take her to the humane society. We have called all the local sherriffs offices, but no one has reported a missing dog yet.
I just want her to go to a good home. She is so sweet and precious, she deserves a family that will love her, not leave her on the side of the road to fend for herself. At least she has a warm house, a soft bed, food, and water for the time being.

Saturday was a rough day for me. Kevin was off helping a buddy fix his truck, so I was left at home by myself. I worked on invitations for most the morning, but just felt depressed all day. I was thinking a lot about my Grandpa that day. So I decided to go to his grave and talk to him. I have never done this before, except one time when a friend of mine took me to meet her father, and he had been dead for almost a year. I sat at his little marker, the one still from the funeral home, and thought about him. I can still see him perfectly in my head. Still hear his laugh. Still see the way his eyes would crinkle up as he smiled...like all Steinbauer's do. I picture him with all his family around him, at family gatherings, when he seemed most happy. I sat at his grave and cried and cried and cried for a good 20 min. I needed it. I miss him to death and regret not spending more time with him when he was here. I just always thought he would be here. He always seemed so healthly, even though he wasn't. I guess I just thought he was immortal. Oh, the things we learn after they are too late.

Anyways, I have been super busy lately and relate my breakdown to actually having some free time. I am working 2 jobs almost daily now, trying to make some money. Kevin took a paycut when he went back to work and the overtime they promised him hasn't been that consistant. I hate not having money in the bank. I hate worrying about how we are going to pay for the gallon of milk we need, and eating soup everyday because it is what we can afford. Kevin is searching for a second job, but they are non-existant. Luckily he is working 10 hour days all this week and may get to work saturday as well. The other driver at my second job having a nervous breakdown was a blessing to me. It means I get all the hours I want...and boy am I scooping them up. My house is suffering...it is dirtier than I have ever seen it. I need to get on Kevin about that. We got our taxes done saturday and our return should help. We will be able to pay off the only credit card we have AND get the part to fix Kevin's ranger so he can sell it to his friend. That will be TWO, count them 2, payments gone! That is a wonderful thing. Also, Kevin's Heavy Chevy is getting fixed by Job and Family services for free...awesome! The estimates came out to around $6200 so that is money that we don't have to worry about to get his main vehicle fixed. The only upside to Kevin getting laid off!
Things can only go up from here...

Help!!

I need a name!

Let me clarify...
I need a name for my invitations business. The place where I get my paper wants to advertise me and give out my business card to the people that come in asking about invitations. I can't think of a witty name.
I would love to use a little owl stamp that I found as part of my logo, but that is all I have.
Help...I need your ideas!!!

Hair today, gone tomorrow

I cut my hair this weekend. 11 inches gone. It feels lighter, but I am struggling with styling it. I even bought a straightener, and all of you that know me know that this is a monumental moment in my life. I can barely run a hair dryer.

Im having cutters remorse. I want my long hair back.

Everyone says they like it, but I think it makes my face look fat. It doesnt help that Kevin said, it makes your face look happier and rounder. No girl wants to hear that it makes their face look rounder. no one.

Kevin loves it though, but he LOVES short hair on women. I think I pull it off ok, but Im not happy with it, therefore I feel unattractive.

My good friend, Kyle, always important to me, confirmed what I was feeling by telling me that he was completely unattracted to me now. Kyle is harsh, Kyle is blunt. It is one of the reasons I love him. Im not typically a girl to get too worked up over things like this, but I want my long, beautiful hair back. N.O.W!

It will probably take a good year to grow it back out...plus I get to go through the lovely awkward stages of the grow out...yuck.

The only thing that makes it worthwhile...I donated my hair for the 6th time to locks of love and convinced an 11 year old little girl to do it with me in the process.

Sigh.

Hair, please come back quickly...

Let the journey continue!

I've decided to go back to school. Im following through with it this time. No ifs, ands, or buts...butts...
I'm going for my masters in education so I can FINALLY teach. I am going to do it on line, which scares me because I love the classroom, but figure I can still work full time this way. I am "meeting" with my counselor on monday...by meeting I mean tele-conference. I am already impressed with the school so far though . This woman gets me. She gets that I have a great base education and she knows what I am after...Im after that office in Pfleiderer building at Heidelberg that I sat in so many times in college...I want that office to be mine. I am going to focus on English, but will probably have health sciences included just so I am more valuable to a school.
Kevin doesn't understand it. I told him..."Im bored at work. My brain is rotting. I am a smart person and I am letting it waste away and this is a crime. I want a job where I am stimulated everyday, where I am excited to get up to go to work, where I influence people, where I help to mold minds and create excitement over things they never thought they would be excited about. Because I want to and I am doing it. "
He didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. He still wants me to go to nursing school, or go demand more money where I am currently at. But he doesn't understand that I am not happy here and I. AM. MAKING. CHANGES.
I think he is afraid I am going to leave him. Anytime I go to school, he gets all antsy-like he thinks I am going to wake up one day and be all like, "I don't love him because he didn't go to college..." so not like that. I wish he could see all the wonderful things about him that made me fall in love with him. I wish he would be excited for me.
I am excited for me.
I am excited for my future.
I am excited for my education to start again.
I am excited...
I am excited...
I am excited...

lucky!

My coworker just won $21,000 on the Ohio pick 4 lottery!
Holy cow!
We just had a little jumping up and down celebration for her...
It couldn't have gone to a better person...

Im ready for winter to be over.
I sick of waking up everyday and having the sky be the same gray, nasty, drab color all day.
Its depressing and I hate having to cheer myself up because the weather brings me down.
Im ready for spring. Im ready to go running on the roads instead of a treadmill next to a woman who complains every.single.morning. about her divorce and how horrible her ex-husband is. I get it. He's an ass. I can't drown you out with loud music anymore because my friend is living in the loft above the gym because she finally left her abusive boyfriend and I don't want to wake her.
Im ready for blue skys. Warm sun. Green grass. Birds chirping when I walk outside to go to work. Dew instead of frost. My tulips, my tulips, my tulips.
Did I tell you I planted close to 300 bulbs this past fall? All colors of pinks and magentas and purples and lilacs and blues and whites. I can't wait to see all the tiny buds popping up from the soil...marking the arrival of spring.
Im going to Alabama in April. Im driving my grandparents down to see my Momo's mother....my great grandmother. She is one amazing woman. 93 this year and still kicking. Her mind is still sharp, she still cooks, still feeds her chickens every morning, and still tells great stories about her past.
Im excited to see her. It's been far too long. The last time I was down there was when I was in junior high. Lots of things have changed, but I know most of the things have stayed the same.
Im not excited about sleeping on a couch for a week...on my vacation. Why do I have to do this when it is a 4 bedroom home? Because her one son, David, lives with her and helps her take care of the house and takes care of Grandma. Momo and Papa will have one room, and I just found out this week, that my Uncle Joe moved back in. My alcoholic, drug addicted uncle. Is living in the same house as his mother, the wife of a baptist minister. Leaching off his mother. Im not happy about it. I catch him with drugs in my grandma's house and I will kick his ass myself. I hate when he drinks. He is inappropriate when he drinks. Says inappropriate things. Thinks he is funny when he is sick. I may be renting a hotel room all by myself if it gets too bad. I want to enjoy my vacation.
I will have to take pictures when I am down there. You will be suprised by how old-timey it is. I mean, grandma lives on a dirt road. A.Dirt.Road. Red clay to be exact. It gets all over your clothes and shoes down there. I need to get a pair of throw away style shoes to go running in.
There are lots of HUGE trees, ant hills, and poverty stricken homes in her area. Nobody has a lot. Everything is basic. BUT, they have nice porches. Front AND back porches. You spend a lot of time on the porch when you are there. That part is nice. You get a cold drink, plop down in one of the rocking chairs and sit back and watch the chickens run around until the sun goes down. I do love that part. I learned the art of sitting still on those porches. I learned to appreciate watching nature around you and being quiet and sitting in the company of those you love and NOT having to talk constantly.
That is one thing Alabama has that Ohio doesnt...the ability to be still and appreciate the things around you.

Things I want to do before I die...

I was thinking in the shower last night, because the shower is my thinking spot, about things that I would love to do/accomplish before I die.
This is what I have so far:

-Run a 5k in less than 25 min
-Run a half marathon
-Run a full marathon
-Compete in a triathalon
-Be skinny/confident enough to get professional nudie pics taken for my husband's birthday (tasteful of course-no full frontal!)
-Have a job that I love, love, love, love, love going to
-Own a boat
-Try Indian food (I know, not a big one, but I live in Bellevue Ohio...nuff said)
-See France, again
-Own a place in Cape Cod so I can go there anytime I want
-Sit in awe of the powerful Mississippi River
-Climb a mountain
-Go to Vegas
-Go on a missionary trip with my friend Faith from College
-Learn to start an IV
-Drive a car that costs more than my house (just on loan...not buy it)
-Fly an airplane
-Own a house free and clear
-Travel, travel, travel, travel, travel
-Go back to school for teaching and keep going til I get my doctorate
-Take a cheerleading squad to nationals
-Take my ENTIRE family on a nice vacation
-See my Aunt and Uncle's house in Australia...in person
-SCUBA dive in a tropical location...you can only look at muddy sunken boats in Lake Erie for so long
-Rescue more pit bulls
-Have a bedroom that looks like an adults bedroom...with matching furniture!
-Have a tin ceiling in my dining room
-Donate blood...I can't bring myself to do it for some reason!
-Become a vegetarian for at least a year
-make a difference in someones life


The list will continue, be added to, edited...
I will keep you posted...
Hoping to be able to check off at least 2 this year!