Awakenings

I had a very productive weekend.
Surprisingly.

Friday was a nice relaxing evening at our favorite BBQ joint...beef brisquet salad and beer. You can't ask for anything better. We went to be early and were able to get up early as well.
I cleaned all day again on Saturday. All day.
I got the soon to be "office" completely cleaned out...closet and all. It is now an empty room ready for us to do with it what we will. That will come later, but having a completely empty room feels kinda nice.
I then began washing ALL the bedding in our home. I mean even the stuff that is in storage and only comes out when we have parties.
I cooked a delicious dinner of stuffed peppers that my friend, Tiffany, came over to enjoy with me. Tiffany and I were once very close, but we drifted apart after she continued to stay with her cheating, nasty husband. She came over Saturday to tell me that she was finally leaving him. I'm very proud of her. And while I never wish a couple to divorce, I worry about her safety constantly because I know her husband doesn't use protection when he cheats. She realized that she didn't want her daughter growing up thinking it was ok for a man to treat his wife that way. She is very sad and embarrassed that her marriage didn't work out, but she tried, by herself, for 2 1/2 years to make things better. She realized that he wouldn't change because he didn't want to. And I think she realized that she deserves better. I know it was hard for her to talk to me about it and I did my best to listen and just be supportive and not make negative comments about him. But I did express my worry over her getting a potentially deadly STD because of him. She agreed that it was a possibility and I think the thought of it scared her.
Kevin came home from helping a buddy on Saturday evening after Tiff left. The first thing he did was hug me and then he told me how he realized how lucky he was to have me today and that he doesn't tell me enough how much he loves me and appreciates me. I instantly asked what he did wrong. He said that he and his friend had a long heart to heart and it made him realize a lot of things about his life. How he wastes a lot of time by doing for everyone else, but neglects him and I, how he drinks too much and how he thinks he is trying to fill a void by drinking and that it needs to stop, that he has gotten lazy and comfortable with our house, that he isn't doing any work to it because he is comfortable, but that he realizes that if this continues our home with deteriorate around us. I told him that this last one especially was frustrating to me because I have so many ideas for our home and that I feel like we live in a shell of a house, a house in shambles. That it is not a house that I am proud of because it looks like no one takes care of it. How I feel like he is very good at starting projects and then just letting them fall to the wayside unless it is something that is solely for him....like the basement "man-cave" area. He agreed that he was horrible about this and promised to do better. He grew up in a home that was not nice, but because it was warm, his parents did nothing to make it look nicer. The home is falling apart now. Kevin is in danger of repeating this pattern because it is what he grew up with. I grew up with a family that took a house that required a lot of work, but we did the work and now it is an absolutely gorgeous home. It embarrasses me to have my family over to my home because it is constantly in the same state with no progress ever being made.
I hope that Kevin holds true to his awakening and begins to make progress in our home.
He asked me to quit my second job so that we can spend more time working on our things together...that maybe if I am there to push him, it will get done.
We will see.
Sunday, I went to dinner with 3 of my girlfriends. It was wonderful catching up with them all. It had been over a year since we were all together last. It was fantastic.
I then went home and made Bully a new dog bed, his being dilapidated from use. He instantly loved it...so did Kevin who curled up with him and took a nap.
I then cleaned out our closet in our bedroom getting rid of a ton of stuff. Most of it is going to my friend that can use the clothes. The rest is going to Goodwill.
It feels so much better to have less "stuff" sitting around.
The process will continue tonight with our dressers!