Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Im eating a coissant...not the regular kind, the kind that's all glazed and stuff from the local bakery, that is way more unhealthy than the regular kind.
I need it today.
I got the letter yesterday. THE letter.
"You are due for your 6 month follow-up pap smear. Please call to schedule your appointment."
Frightening words.
I just shoved half the coissant into my mouth and am now typing with freshly licked fingers. Gross, I know. I'm freaking out.
I never used to be this way about my pap. NEVER. I was the girl everyone wanted to be in the office. Cheery, chatting with the office girls, relaxed, and totally cool with the situation. Not anymore. Now I sit quiet, fidgeting, constantly checking my watch. Inside freaking out, trying not to let that show on the outside.
I am tying to be confident, positive. I know this helps. I can't change anything, why get all worked up over it?! Deep breath...inhale, exhale. Better.
Final bite of coissant...MUCH better.

I've been running a lot lately. Every morning. I have my first 5k this saturday and I am actually nervous. I didn't really get nervous at any of them last year. Mainly because I did not put any pressure on myself. This year, though, I am setting goals. And I want to meet those goals, break them, shatter them. I'm in a more mind over matter place this year and am ready to push myself through the races. I may never win a 5k, but I want to continue to beat my personal bests.
I'm contemplating signing up for a half marathon in September. I think it would be amazing to do. I'm trying to work out the logistics, the hours and miles I would need to log to prepare. I think I can do it. I want to do it. I will do it.

My life has become about determination, setting and reaching new goals. Now, if I could just get the balls to dial that one phone number...


  1. You can do it... we're behind you all the way... no matter what!

  2. Hey, can I ask a totally unrelated question? What's the meaning of your blog title - "Klinebauer Korner"? Thanks!

  3. Klinebauer is a combination of my maiden name and my married name. It is what all my friends call "us" as a couple. A mix of who I was and who I now am...

  4. I admire your determination!

    And I agree with can do it! I know it's scary, but you gotta!

  5. You exude confidence! And are such an inspiration.

  6. thinking about you. also, I was really worried that your name was Kleinbauer, and it rhymed with Steinbauer. Hey, central PA is like that, with all the Dutch and Germanic names sounding exactly alike, so I was wondering if maybe Ohio was too!!
    So glad it's not!

    If your pap comes back clean, we rejoice together. If it doesn't, we stand behind you. We're here either way. Love to you.

  7. @Lora: Hey - MY name is Kleinbauer, so you better be careful here... ;-)

  8. I love that your name is Kleinbauer! My hubby and I have actually thought about changing our last name to that, but figured it wouldn't be worth all the trouble. Our last name now is Kline, but my maiden is Steinbauer! Goooo Germans!!!

  9. Aww, that's cute that you guys considered changing your name -- if you'll end up doing it some day, I'd be more than happy to welcome you to the family! ;-)
    The way you pronounce your maiden name - did it rhyme with "Kline", or do you say it like "Steen"? I wonder how you guys came up with Klinebauer as a word in case it didn't rhyme...

    Last remark: I think Steinbauer sounds a lot cooler than Kleinbauer! It's also less prone to ridicule... (sigh, yeah, you heard right: that's years of being a pun victim speaking).