Grateful

Last Wednesday evening was a very sobering evening.
My husband and I went back to my alma mater, Heidelberg (college for ever in my heart) University.
A gentleman from my home town, Don Behm, was speaking along with a friend of his, Jim Lichtman.
Don was in the 11th armoured division. Jim survived 3 concentration camps. Don liberated the camp in Mathausen that Jim was in.
The Great Hall, where they were speaking, was packed full of students and community members alike. The community members understood why we were there, the students, not so much. Im sure some of them appreciated it, but most just didnt understand.

Listening to Mr. Behm as he described pushing in the gates of the camp with his tank and what he saw when they broke through was devastating to hear. The tremor in his voice, holding back tears, made me break down. He was just giving a prologe to what Mr. Lichtman would be telling us.
Mr. Lichtman watched as his mother and sister were taken away at Auschwitz. He didn't know where to, but the guard pointed to the crematorium and told him that that was where they were going. Then he watched as his beloved uncle threw himself against the electrified fence because he didn't want to go through what the rest of them would be.
He was loaded back on a train and taken to one work camp after another. Finally settling in Gusen (Mauthausen.)
Here, he would watch as his father was beat to death because not enough Jews were killed that day. It broke my heart to hear him describe this. How the guard made him watch. How his father tried to give his tiny piece of bread to his son as he was being murdered. I sobbed. I broke down. Kevin was crying too. Yet, the girl sitting next to me asked me what my problem was.
Mr. Lichtman survived 100 days in camp, while most only last 90. He was in the infirmary, a place where the sick were taken to die, not get better, when the tanks broke through. He was 18.
He returned to his home to discover his mother was still alive. He worked to pay $1000 each for passage to America with fake passports.
He moved to New Jersey and began working for an appliance company and later bought it and became very wealthy. He didn't tell his wife, children, no one about what he had been through until he was in his 4o's. Then he decided that people needed to hear his story, if only to prevent it from happening again.
He speaks in Germany each year to students and all over America.
I felt blessed just to be in these two men's great presence.
I can't thank them enough for sharing their very difficult story to tell.
I wish the student's could understand how lucky they are. How this generation is dying and we are going to lose all their knowledge with them.
That it is our duty to carry on their memory and what they went through so that we never have to.

Team Funbags!

I think I am going to start up a team for the Susan G. Koman 3 day walk for a cure event in Cleveland this year.
I've wanted to attend for the past 3 years, but think I am going to make that step this year and commit to doing it!
I just requested information on how to start a team so hopefuly that will help!

The event is July 30th through August 1st in downtown Cleveland.
Let me know if any of you are interested in participating!
It will be a fun, emotional, and awe-inspiring event!
I can't wait!

Melt the Ice

I ran my first 5k of the year on saturday morning. It's called the Melt the Ice 5k. There were only about 300 runners, but this was good because it was on the northcoast inland trail which isn't very wide. I had never been on this part of the trail, sticking mainly to the couple miles around the Clyde area, rollerblading with my girls. This section is really nice. But it has hills!
I have never run a 5k that had hills included, so that was an unexpected suprise that kicked my butt. The wind wasn't very nice either. It was about 37 degrees that morning and I ran with a pair of flannel pants, a t-shirt, and a fleece zip-up. I needed it. Was wishing I had gloves too. Will remember that for next year!
So, the first mile was pretty easy. We were blocked from the wind and my MP3 player was playing some songs to keep my mind focused on something other than my breathing (I am a loud breather when I run and need something to distract me from it so I don't overly focus on it! Im crazy!)
The second mile was a bit tougher. It included all 3 large hills and two bridges over the Sandusky River which was rather chilly crossing. The down and back was in this section and included a tunnel that went under the entrance to the bridge. The tunnel on the way through wasn't so bad. On the way back, however, it became a giant windtunnel and it took everything I had to get through it! There was a couple running in front of me and as soon as they stepped into the tunnel, they stopped running, put their head down and tried to trudge through it. As soon as I hit the massive wind, I leaned into it and seriously grunted like Rambo. It was the longest 200 yards of the race!
The last mile was tough, but there was a good sized crowd cheering us on. I pushed in the last 1/4 mile and actually got photographed by the Elite Runner's Club photographer. Haha! A friend of mine had finished before me and was there cheering me on making me push it even more!
I finished with my best time so far. 5 minutes faster than last years best time. I am still slow compared to most runners, but am making great strides. I know that my next time will be even better and eventually I will be to my goal time of 33min. My finish time this time as 43:02. Not fantastic, but I am still proud. Especially since it was my first "cold weather" race and because I made such great progress from last year.
A guy actually remembered me from races last year and told me I look like a much better runner this year. More relaxed and less huffy-(his exact words! Haha!) Huffy.
I can't wait til my next race in April. Im hoping to finish at 40:00 or better!

Ah, Spring.
I love this time of year. Everything feels so fresh, so new, so lovely. It makes all the Ohio snow worth it (almost.)

Im eating a coissant...not the regular kind, the kind that's all glazed and stuff from the local bakery, that is way more unhealthy than the regular kind.
I need it today.
I got the letter yesterday. THE letter.
"You are due for your 6 month follow-up pap smear. Please call to schedule your appointment."
Frightening words.
I just shoved half the coissant into my mouth and am now typing with freshly licked fingers. Gross, I know. I'm freaking out.
I never used to be this way about my pap. NEVER. I was the girl everyone wanted to be in the office. Cheery, chatting with the office girls, relaxed, and totally cool with the situation. Not anymore. Now I sit quiet, fidgeting, constantly checking my watch. Inside freaking out, trying not to let that show on the outside.
I am tying to be confident, positive. I know this helps. I can't change anything, why get all worked up over it?! Deep breath...inhale, exhale. Better.
Final bite of coissant...MUCH better.

I've been running a lot lately. Every morning. I have my first 5k this saturday and I am actually nervous. I didn't really get nervous at any of them last year. Mainly because I did not put any pressure on myself. This year, though, I am setting goals. And I want to meet those goals, break them, shatter them. I'm in a more mind over matter place this year and am ready to push myself through the races. I may never win a 5k, but I want to continue to beat my personal bests.
I'm contemplating signing up for a half marathon in September. I think it would be amazing to do. I'm trying to work out the logistics, the hours and miles I would need to log to prepare. I think I can do it. I want to do it. I will do it.

My life has become about determination, setting and reaching new goals. Now, if I could just get the balls to dial that one phone number...

Invitation samples...I need a name!

This is my favorite. Very modern looking, yet simple.

For the bride that loves vellum. Allows all enclosures to be tied inside with a pretty little bow around the outside of the vellum.

The paper didn't translate well in the picture. White shimmer under pink shimmer. It looks really nice in person.

A little modern, yet classic at the same time. My best seller as of late.

The inside allows for the traditional cheesy quote. "the path that leads to happiness is so narrow that two cannot walk on it unless they become one!"

Simple and classic. Comes with matching reception card

Large save the date (size of a post card) (oh, and I didn't pick the colors...this was all Tiff's giant orange and hot pink wedding!)

Small save the date...cute, simple, cheap!

Bachelorette Invitation

Per Lizzi's request. Here are some samples of my invitations. I have tons more at home from past mock-ups, but these are the basic styles. Any ideas for a name for my little business venture?

Kevin took Bully to the reservoir yesterday to let him run around and play and leap and jump and sniff and bound through the open fields there.
He came home with another dog.
While Kevin was there, her kept noticing a little beagle running around, from group of people to group of people. When the little dog finally got to Kevin, he saw that the dog was dirty and that someone had removed its collar. This res is out in the middle of no where...people in our area are notorious for driving out to BFE and dropping off unwanted pets. It is how I got most of my cats and one dog growing up. Bastards. The dog was extremely friendly so Kevin picked her up and brought her home. (don't worry, he checked all the local houses to make sure she didn't slip her collar and take off.)
She is a little female beagle, fixed now, but once had pups...you can tell from her giant momma teets. I estimate that she is 3-4 years old. Extremely sweet, housebroken, and gentle. It breaks my heart that someone threw her out like trash. She is precious. She even toughed it out through a shower with Kevin and didn't once whine. We are trying to find her a good home, but it seems like no one wants her...it is early though. I have hope. If we are not able to find her a home, we have no choice but to take her to the humane society. We have called all the local sherriffs offices, but no one has reported a missing dog yet.
I just want her to go to a good home. She is so sweet and precious, she deserves a family that will love her, not leave her on the side of the road to fend for herself. At least she has a warm house, a soft bed, food, and water for the time being.

Saturday was a rough day for me. Kevin was off helping a buddy fix his truck, so I was left at home by myself. I worked on invitations for most the morning, but just felt depressed all day. I was thinking a lot about my Grandpa that day. So I decided to go to his grave and talk to him. I have never done this before, except one time when a friend of mine took me to meet her father, and he had been dead for almost a year. I sat at his little marker, the one still from the funeral home, and thought about him. I can still see him perfectly in my head. Still hear his laugh. Still see the way his eyes would crinkle up as he smiled...like all Steinbauer's do. I picture him with all his family around him, at family gatherings, when he seemed most happy. I sat at his grave and cried and cried and cried for a good 20 min. I needed it. I miss him to death and regret not spending more time with him when he was here. I just always thought he would be here. He always seemed so healthly, even though he wasn't. I guess I just thought he was immortal. Oh, the things we learn after they are too late.

Anyways, I have been super busy lately and relate my breakdown to actually having some free time. I am working 2 jobs almost daily now, trying to make some money. Kevin took a paycut when he went back to work and the overtime they promised him hasn't been that consistant. I hate not having money in the bank. I hate worrying about how we are going to pay for the gallon of milk we need, and eating soup everyday because it is what we can afford. Kevin is searching for a second job, but they are non-existant. Luckily he is working 10 hour days all this week and may get to work saturday as well. The other driver at my second job having a nervous breakdown was a blessing to me. It means I get all the hours I want...and boy am I scooping them up. My house is suffering...it is dirtier than I have ever seen it. I need to get on Kevin about that. We got our taxes done saturday and our return should help. We will be able to pay off the only credit card we have AND get the part to fix Kevin's ranger so he can sell it to his friend. That will be TWO, count them 2, payments gone! That is a wonderful thing. Also, Kevin's Heavy Chevy is getting fixed by Job and Family services for free...awesome! The estimates came out to around $6200 so that is money that we don't have to worry about to get his main vehicle fixed. The only upside to Kevin getting laid off!
Things can only go up from here...

Help!!

I need a name!

Let me clarify...
I need a name for my invitations business. The place where I get my paper wants to advertise me and give out my business card to the people that come in asking about invitations. I can't think of a witty name.
I would love to use a little owl stamp that I found as part of my logo, but that is all I have.
Help...I need your ideas!!!