*Gasp*

I had THE. WORST. DREAM. EVER. last night. I was becoming paralyzed from the waist down. It wasn't like I was in an accident and it was instant (not that that would make it any better) but it was a slow, torturous process where I lost more and more function, muscle tone, and feeling each day. By the end of my dream I was in a wheelchair. I remember looking down at my limp, skinny, shriveled legs, wondering why this happened and what I was supposed to do about it. To make matters worse, Kevin was cheating on my with a cute little blonde and I could do nothing about it because I couldn't get to where he was in my wheelchair. I was completely helpless, at the top of a staircase, trying to find a way down. Seconds before I woke up, I began the descent down the stairs, trying to tip backwards to keep from tipping forward and out of the chair. A good looking, athletic man (who gave me the wheelchair) grabbed the back of my chair and helped me down. Halfway down the stairs, I woke up.
I pray to God that I never lose function of any part of my body like that. It was enough torture in the dream and I am still creeped out by it now that I am awake and my legs are moving normally. Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

Urbanity...in my future

I have decided that this spring...maybe sooner, I will be starting an Urbanity blog just like Lora, Blackbelt, and MJ. It will be of Bellevue and the lovely little surrounding towns like Castalia, Clyde, Attica, Tiffin, and Sandusky (our BIG city.) It will show the beautiful side of these towns but also some of the craziness that you see-aka white trashy-type stuff. Because we all know just how funny 48 cars in your front yard looks. I am excited to show you my small little world and how wonderful and horrible it can be. More to come...

Hoot, who, Hoot

My first owl purchase...

My second owl purchase... his name is Otie (pronounced O-T)

My cat that likes to mimic being an owl.

I have had an obsession with owls recently. I didn't realize I had an obsession until my husband pointed it out. If I see an owl figure, stamp, card, stuffed animal, necklas...I want it. I don't know why. I have always like owls. Ever since my step dad found a dead barn owl when I was little. I thought is was cute, even when it was dead. I have never seen an owl in person while it was alive, other than at animal demonstrations or zoos. They say it is bad luck to see an owl during the day. I hear them around my house all the time. Out in the woods. They are even more prevelant at my Momo and Papa's house. I remember listening to them as I would fall asleep as a child. They were comforting with their soft, muffled, "whooo's."

I don't know what this resurgance is about. But I am glad that the shops are accomodating to my tastes for once. Otie is really heavy. He is made out of carved stone and as soon as I saw him, I knew that I had to have him. The halloween owl, pudgy owl, as Kevin likes to call him, came from a local craft store that sells really cool things that are way out of my price range. I loved him when I saw him and was even more excited when it was inexpensive. His brother was beckoning to me as well, but I had to leave him at the shop.

I have an old owl necklas that was my grandma's from the late 60's. It is made out of sterling silver and jade. It is really pretty, but very large. I am not a large jewelry person, but I am contemplating putting him on a new chain that is less cumbersome so that I could wear him with a simple outfit. We shall see.

Still, isn't it strange that I suddenly feel the need to purchase owls to decorate my home?! Weird...

Tickle monster!

April loved the fur coat my aunt gave me. She was running around pretending to be a bear.

Attacking Uncle Pumpkin head

Emma loves bully...she wants a bully puppy...

Emma and April, Kevin and I's nieces, came and spent Sunday afternoon with us. We had a great time with them and I already miss them!

We started out by going to get pumpkins...of course, they pick the largest ones that they could find...except for my short, squat, round one. We went to the farm market that Kevin and I shop at to get them. The owner, Todd, absolutely loved the girls. He and his wife can't have children either, and they spoil the crap out of their niece and nephew as well. He gave them free old-timey candy and apples. He talked to them for a long time about how cool they are that they get to grow up on a dairy farm. They didn't find the same enthusiasm that Todd did, but one day they will realize how special they are....the fact that they probably work harder than most adults do and they are 7 and 8 years old, that they have seen a calf being birthed, that they know where milk really comes from, and that they get to do cool things that city kids just don't get to do. They appreciated the apples and the wax bottles filled with sugary-sweet goodness. Kevin earned his new nick-name at the pumpkin patch, Unlce Pumkin-head. He was cutting firewood, so we put his pumpkin in the front seat of the car with me so that he could be a part of the fun.

After picking out pumpkins I took the girls to lunch and then to go see "Where The Wild Things Are." It was a cute movie, but definitly more for adults than children. There were a lot of underlying themes. It was kind of sad too, but still very good. It was sad enough to make both girls start crying and by the end of the movie, they were both cuddled up on my lap, clinging to me for dear life. They seemed to really like the movie and talked non-stop about it all the way home.

When we got home, Kevin was back from cutting and he played around with the girls. They love to wrestle and lots of screaming, giggling, running, jumping, and more laughing ensued. It is funny, because April, the younger one, is just like Kevin. Adventerous, dare-devil, smart-mouthed, cuddly, and bull-headed. While Emma, is just like her mom. Calm, mature, loving, caring, more cautious, and the care-taker. It's like watching Kevin and Erinn all over again. It's quite funny. Kevin was pleased when I pointed out the similarities and we both agreed that April would be the trouble maker, handful when she got older. She will definitly test her parent's nerves.

We had a blast with them, but man do they wear you out! They go non-stop all day! Play, jump, piggy-back-ride, tickle, giggle, cuddle, hug, "swing-me!," hop, tackle, laugh, pony ride, cat chase, dog cuddle, "paint my nails," twirl, squeal. All day, non-stop. I miss them already.

What a week!

I am soooo ready for the weekend!
The transition to Sandusky went smoothly. For the most part. There are still a few glitches that we need to work out, but I am so much happier at my new location. I love the women that are in my area. They are laid back, have a sense of humor, and take everything in stride. Plus they get it when you are busy and just need to be left alone to hunker down and make it through your pile of crap.
I got some disappointing news at the OB/GYN's on wednesday. Pap came back abnormal....again. I get to start the whole biopsy rounds again, but there is hope that it could be nothing. Fun part was when my mom told my brother, who in turn told my father, who in turn told 2 of his close friends that I grew up with, that I was having surgery the 28th and starting chemo right away...still trying to figure out where she got that from. I think she just thrives on drama and wanted some attention thrown in her direction. Like I don't have enough stress to deal with...give me 45 calls where I have to calm down friends and family members. My dad called me and sounded pretty upset-was ready to take the day of my "surgery" off and any other time that I thought would be helpful. He laughed when I said I was having my "surgery" on my lunch break and going back to work afterwards. Thanks mom...I love drama!

Kevin and I get our nieces for the weekend. I am so excited about this. We are going to do girly night sleepover style stuff....like painting our nails and playing with hair and makeup and of course, going to see "Where The Wild Things Are." So pumped!
I just have to make it through a half hour more here and then 4 hours at my other job tonight...the joys of multiple jobs-going from one to the other. Oh well, it pays the bills better than one job.
On a high note, Kevin has sold 22 cords of wood (4ft x 4ft x 8ft.) It is helping a lot with bills and him being laid off. Plus it gives him something to do during the day so he doesn't get depressed that he isn't working. Still waiting on the grant response, but I am hopeful.
Kevin came and took me to lunch today. It was a nice suprise. He had Bully with him. I wanted to take him back to work with me, but figured the boss would frown upon this. Don't think she would view it as "take your son to work day." Even though he is currently our son.
Kevin and I are going to start putting money back into a savings account and then eventually into CD's...just in case we decide that we do want to adopt in the future. If we decide not to, we have a good chunk of change to either do major renovation work on the house, pay off some major bills, or go on a kick-ass vacation. All in all, it is a good thing to do. Plus, if we do decide we want a child, we will have the means to do so.
Hope you all have a great weekend. I am hoping to!

Anniversary night!

Yesterday ended up being a pretty great day. Work was calm and I got a lot done. Around 2pm, I was told the girls downstairs needed me. I walk downstairs and find a bouquet of roses from Kevin. All the girls were jealous and that made my day. It is only the 3rd time Kevin has ever gotten me flowers. In the spring he will pick me a couple tulips out of my tulip garden, but for him to go out and buy me flowers...that's a big deal. They are gracing my office and look stunning. Women walk by all day, swoop in, and take a wiff of their delicious smell. It makes me feel special.
I get home from work, get cleaned up, and Kevin takes us to dinner at Damon's. Thank God they have an ATM because Kevin forgot his wallet. This is true Kevin fashion-he doesn't do it on purpose, he just always assumes it is in his truck, when in reality it is in the back pocket of his work pants on the mudroom floor. This happened 5 years ago, before I had an ATM card and I got stuck sitting at the same restaurant, on a busy Friday night, for an hour by myself reading the newspaper and sipping coffee while he ran back to our home to get his wallet...an hour, by myself, on a busy Friday night. I got multiple offers of people to take me home. Majorly embarrassing, but its a funny story we can tell now. The one waiter still remembers it. He was our waiter last night. He laughed. Our dinner was wonderful though. We both splurged on steaks and they were delicious. I love their salads and kevin loves their rolls. We love just sitting in the booth, looking out over the water, watching the sunset. The Damon's in Sandusky is right on the water, at Battery Park Marina, looking over the Sandusky Bay and Cedar Point. It is actually very pretty.
We sat and talked in the booth for a long time and reminisced about our wedding day and how much fun we had. We told stories about getting ready-he definitly had more fun shooting pumkins and drinking with the boys. We laughed about the dog running to my grandparent's house because he was afraid of the loud noises made by the guns. We laughed about his sister running off to go do shots of blackberry brandy with the boys and how the photographer was becoming distraut because she kept taking off. His sister is hilarious. We talked about the night of our wedding. How we had attempted to make love, but fell asleep instead. He crawled up on me, I gave him the look that said "really?" and he laughed and agreed and rolled over and fell asleep instead. We were both completely fine with that. It had been a long day, we were both drunk, and more than ready for nighty-night. We wished we were back in Cape Cod on our honeymoon. We talked about our favorite places there, Fairway Pizza, The Purple Feather, the beaches. The gay bar that we walked into in Provincetown and Kevin didn't realize it was a gay bar...even with the Macho Night poster on the door. It was an awesome bar though. I just happened to be the only girl there...and had to use the boys bathroom.
All in all, it was a wonderful evening. We capped off our dinner with cuddling on the couch with our pup. In my opinion, it was the perfect evening. Kevin did well.

Anniversary

Today is Kevin and I's 2 year wedding anniversary. Hard to believe. We have been together almost 10 years now. Time flies.

We've certainly had our share of up's and down's but have so far managed to come out ok. We have been through more in our 10 year relationship than most go through in a lifetime. We have survived things that have crushed others. It makes me feel thankful that we both try so hard, even though at times I feel like I am the only one trying. We fight for our love. We don't easily give up. We are both stubborn and sometimes, that is what saves our marriage. We have both evolved a lot over the years, both sacrificed dreams to create new ones. I think we are a great fit though. We get each other when other's don't. We both wish the other did things differently sometimes, but for the most part we are very happy with each other.

Kevin informed me that this year he is taking care of all the anniversary plans. This scares me a little. Kevin isn't the most romantic guy in the world...he doesn't see the point in flowers, he thinks jewelery is a waste of money, and doesn't get that sometimes a girl just wants to be pampered. Last year, I had our good friend, who owns a restaurant-and happened to be our best man-help me out. He has a private room in his restaurant and I recreated our wedding in that room. I had our centerpiece from the tables, some of the same decorations, and one of our favorite meals cooked for us. I even pulled out our miniature wedding cake from the freezer to thaw so that we could cut it again-it tasted horrible and we laughed as we both choked down the dry bits of cake in our mouth. It was romantic and cute and Kevin loved it. He said he felt like a dirt bag because he didn't do anything for it...not even a card. I know he cares though. (Im telling you, least romantic man on the planet-but he cares and he shows it in little ways, like drawing pictures on my back-something my papa did-to help me fall asleep at night. Warming my side of the bed for me before I get in. Little things that mean so much) I am super curious to see what he has planned tonight. I am still secretly hoping for a suprise bouquet of flowers at work, but Im not holding my breath.

I am still super happy with the decision I made to marry him. I may not show it everyday, but he is the man that I love more than anything on this earth and he makes me so very happy.