Honest Scrap, crap, pap, smack

Lizzi over at Life According to Lizzi bestowed the Honest Scrap award to me, which recognizes bloggers who write honestly and openly and encourages more straightforward and candid conversation by obliging recipients to list 10 honest things about his/her self.

Hmm...
Ten Honest things about myself:

1. I was recently asked to do the Relay for Life (which I do every year) but this year as a cancer survivor and I feel slightly guilty entering as that because I feel like I got off too easy with my cancer...no chemo, no radiation, no hair loss...I lost my uterus and cervix and I am ok with that...

2. When I am at the gym, there is this guy that watches me lift, he immediatly turns away when I turn around, but I know he watches so I make sure that my workout follows closely to the areas he is working out in as well, because secretly it makes me feel powerful and sexy!

3. I cheated on my boyfriend in college...with his roommate. I still deny it to this day because he and I are still friends...but I am the dirty little skeleton in a future politician's closet and that is fun to me...

4. I sometimes think about my first love...ok, by sometimes, I mean a lot...is that frickin' normal? They say that your first love's addiction is stronger than the addictive qualities of crack...

5. My bra size is a 38DD and I love them...except when I want the super sexy, lacy, demi bra and Im wearing my not as sexy, full coverage, microfiber, no lace in sight bra

6. Im open minded, but very quick to judge...not so much judge, but I get a certain feeling about people and I am almost never wrong...my best friend is finding that out now with her husband, which saddens me because she is hurting, but excites me because I know she can do better!

7. I know that I am not in a job where I use my full potential. I know I could have been a doctor. But I am ok with where I am at in life right now...I will take over my boss' boss' postition eventually...and I will do a damned good job...

8. Really good music makes me cry...or if the chords hit me just right...it freaks some people out. I went to a musical at a church with my mom last year and she looked over and I was crying...she didn't know what to say...Pas de Deux by Tchaikovsky does it to me every time! (sp.)

9. I tutored writing, anatomy and physiology, kinesiology, pathology, and biology in college, yet I got tutored for my low level math...the irony

10. I have been arrested for domestic violence (don't worry the charges were dropped) It is a long story that some day I will tell you all...I think it is funny now...not so much then though

I am pretty sure that everyone has been nominated... but
I nominate Jen at It's a beautiful life



I have got to get me some more followers on here! Guess I better start reading and commenting more on other's friends, friends, friends blogs

One Week

In one week from today I will be stepping onto a plane and heading to Georgia...
In one week and one day from today I will get to see my little brother again...
In one week and two days from now I will be the proud sister of a strong man that finished boot camp for the United States Army...
In one week and one day from now, I am going to tackly my brother with a hug and immediately ask him to teach me how to do an armbar...

Im pretty excited about my trip if you can't tell.

You don't realize the luxury of having your immediate family close until they are gone and you can't just pick up a telephone, call, and meet for lunch. Joe is the cohesive glue that holds our family together. He gets along, pretty much, with everyone and seems to have the closest bond with all of his siblings. While Tanner and I are close, we aren't as close as we could be and Jake is at that stage where he would rather be close to his friends than his family. That's just how it is sometimes. While Jake and I are getting closer everyday, Joe and I just always had a bond...I don't know if it is the 7 year age gap, the fact that I helped raise him while I was still a child myself, the floating turd in the bathtub incident, or the fact that he is just so damned lovable. I mean, the kid could be the greatest car salesman in the world...instead he is going to be the greatest soldier in the world (in my opinion.) He can do everything in his power to piss you off, yet you can't really get mad at him. He put a damned hole in my wall at the going away party we had for him...the ONLY nice, finished wall we have in our entire house, he picks that one to put a hole in. Could I get mad at him...no...the hole is still there and I still chuckle everytime I walk past it. I think I will actually be sad when we fix the hole. (Joe recommends putting a frame around it and placing a plaque over it that states something to this affect..."joe's ass was here.") That is my little brother for you.
I do have the most amazing brothers though. I have Tanner, the amazing father who had all his teachers in high school convinced that he had a learning disability (he pretended to) and turns out to have this great job when all our teachers thought he would work at mickey D's forever...haha! I still laugh when I remember the face of Mr. Miller when I told him he was going to school for tool and dye and he realized he let him slack in class...
Then there is Jake. My youngest brother. The one who does have an actual learning disability, but is still one of the smartest kids I know. He is an amazingly hard worker and reminds me so much of my Papa...and that is a great thing. He doesn't give himself the credit he deserves. You give that kid a shovel and he will make a masterpiece out of your landscaping. You give him a gun and he will shoot dead on everytime. Plus, he is extremely handsome (he just needs to cut his hair) and he has old school values...but can pull out faces and sounds that make you laugh so hard you start crying.

I lucked out in the sibling department...and so far I have the coolest sister-in-laws. I couldn't have asked for better ones than Erinn and Jen. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I will post, with extreme detail, the proper way to enforce an armbar.

Happy Birthday Tina!

Today is my older brother, Tanner's, birthday. He is the big 3-1. Crazy to me. I thought it would be appropriate to list some of my favorite, and not so favorite memories of him on here...

-Playing rummie on my dad's boat and eating doritos and drinking mountain dew-because that was our diet on the boat

-The time we went to Lake Cumberland and we went to look at the jet ski's which were tied off the back of the boat and his was submerged about 2 feet underwater

-Dancing with my brother at his wedding

-The time he tried to teach me how to drive (when HE had just learned) but he gave up when I couldn't figure out how to start the truck...hey! It was a stick!

-Watching him, WOW, Connor, and Seager jump on the trampolene...and almost break it

-The time he fell off the dock while getting on the boat, right after he took a shower, with all his toiletries still in his arms, at 10 o'clock at night

-The worst trip to Mohican ever...he lost his glasses in the water and our step dad fished them out of 5ft of "rapids" style water...still a miracle to this day!

-the horrific 4 wheeler accident...it will forever be emblazened in my mind

-When we dressed up like Bruce Springsteen and Cindy Lauper for halloween...we were the coolest kids ever

-one word...YAWNING

-Watching him the first time I saw him as a FATHER

I don't know where I would be without my big brother...while we fought a lot, and I mean a lot, I know that no matter what, he is there for me...just like that time my freshman year in high school when he pushed my jerk of an ex-boyfriend in the hallway and told him to quit messing with me...or how when Kevin and I were having problems, I knew he had my back. We may not talk a lot, but we have a connection that can't be described and I love the shit out of him...plus he helped to produce one of the cutest kids in the world!

Neno's Award

Brandi, over at Live-laugh-love, gave me the kickass Neno's award! Thanks Brandi! Here's how it works!
Each person who receives the award is obliged to show thanks by posting the award on his/her blog, giving a shout out to the person who gave the award, pass it on, and to answer the following question: "Why do you love blogging?"

Why do I love blogging? It lets me get things out of my head and say anything I want to and I don't have to be apologetic for it. It gives me a sense of community with people I would not normally get to know and develop a friendship that would not have blossomed in my "real" world. It gives me ideas, closure, release, a sense of ownership, and sanity. It lets me be creative without pressure. It has been, by far, one of the best investments of time I have ever done for myself. I am so thankful to have met so many wonderful people in this little blogging world that inspire me and make me more proud of who I am.

And like Lora said over at Jakezilla, I do feel like the pretty, popular in 11th grade getting all the red carnations in homeroom. I only got pink ones from my friends...boo.


I nominate
Jen
Lora (even though she has already been nominated)
Brandi (even though she has already been nominated)
Lizzi

Each one of you have influenced me positively in some way. It has brought me closer to my wonderful sis-in-law Jen, and brought about new, budding friendships with Lora, Brandi, and Lizzi. They kept me sane when I was going through a really rough time in my life and make me feel great about myself (and not crazy) when Im seeing things differently than those around me. Not to mention they keep my wheels turning with their wonderful blogs...makes me feel like I am in college again...developing new friendships, learning new things about myself and how the world works, and being challenged everyday. Thank you to each and every one of you...

Ahh...

It is gorgeous outside! Truly Fabulous! I love that it is warm and sunny and the birds chirping outside my window wake me up instead of my alarm clock. I love this weather. I love sleeping with the window open, curtains billowing out like in some romantic scene of a movie and sleeping with only a sheet. I know it won't last long, but while it is here, I am going to enjoy it.

We had a wonderful weekend. Kevin and I got to spend some actual time together on Friday night (even though he looked like a zombie, and he went to bed at 9pm.) It was still nice eating with someone other than my cats and dog and having a real conversation. It was like we were dating again! So funny!
Saturday I went walking with two of my best friends and then Tiff and I hung out after Beth took off to work. She and I havn't hung out, hung out in forever and it was great. She is one of my only friends that I feel truly at home with. She is having a rough time with her marriage and it was nice being able to give her a big hug and some thin mints....her face lit up when I handed her the tiny brown discs! Trying to hug someone through the phone just doesn't work. She and I lounged around, talked, cried, watched some bad tv and slumbered on the couches. I miss doing this with her all the time. Im glad we got to spend some time together.
Sunday was cleaning day and weeding day. My weeping cherries are finally starting to bud. I was worried that they had not survived the winter, but they are all green now. Thank God! Kevin did some yard work and sprayed the house for spiders...my foe! They still manage to find their way to my line of vision. Then I scream, hollar for someone to come kill it and avoid that room like the plague until I absolutely have to go in it...Im a dork like that.
All in all though, it was a fantastic weekend. I hope this weekend is just as nice!

Crazy 8's courtesty of Miss Brandi!

This seemed like fun, and honestly, Im not always creative...soo.....

8 Things Im looking forward to:

1. A nice evening with my husband

2. Getting a new back door to our house that doesn't look like a dog poo'd on it and permenently stained it

3. The weekend!!!! Sleeping in, walking with friends, seeing my hubby, and landscaping!

4. Starting the tradition of Spaghetti Wednesdays! Thanks to lora over at Jakezilla http://littlemaniac.blogspot.com/

5. Did I mention spending time with my husband!?

6. Going to see my little brother, Joe, down at Fort Benning in 2 weeks!

7. Being able to fit back into my favorite swimsuit, dress, jeans, etc...

8. My tulips to bloom!


8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Cleared a lot of shit off my desk at work...ahhh...

2. Blew my nose at least 100 times...amazing how much snot my little head can produce

3. Called the local radio station at Baldwin-Wallace College and requested a song (Discipline by Nine Inch Nails) I think they were suprised that anyone was awake that early that listened to their station...it was funny!

4. Went to the gym and lifted legs...my least favorite

5. Made Tuna Noodle Casserole...it was yummy, so white trash, but I love it~!

6. Put clean sheets on the bed...one of my favorite feelings in the world!

7. Talked for a long time on the phone with an old friend

8. Got told by a woman at the gym that I looked like I was losing weight! Yes!!!!!


8 Things I wish I could do:

1. Play the guitar, or sing, well

2. Coach cheerleading again

3. Fit into my favorite swimsuit, dress, jeans, etc.

4. See my Dad more often

5. Call Joe whenever I want to

6. See my husband more but still have the feeling like we don't see each other enough stick around

7. Reconnect with an old friend that went MIA

8. Win the lottery so I could get a cool job that I DIDN"T have to have

8 Shows I watch:

1. Family Guy

2. Road rules/Real world challenges

3. Music videos at 6am

4. Top Chef/Project Runway-whichever one is on

5. Food Network Challenges

6. Iron Chef

7. Old reruns of Full House, I can't help but watch them when they are on!

8. Extreme Home Makeover


Your turn!!! I tag everyone that reads this!!!

success!!!

My boss has finally started seeing how lazy my one coworker is. I am excited. He is on vacation today and we have already gotten several phone calls about orders that he did nothing with but has had for at least 3 days. I sat her down when I walked in and found HIS orders on my desk and almost all of them were supposed to be delivered yesterday or before that. Sad that the patient has to suffer for her to see what a jackass he is. AND I made her talk to the referal that called screaming because the patient still didn't have their item...I am done smoothing things over. I told her to fix the situation or that I was looking for a new job. She got the point. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish anyone in these hard economic time to lose their job, but he is going to hurt someone or someone is going to die because they dont get what they need...he needs to find a different line of work.

Where did my husband go?

Kevin started a new job about a week after my surgery, when he got laid off from his previous job. It is at a nursery that supplies trees to places like Lowe's and Home Depot. It is a good job, pays very well, and Kevin has been able to move up very quickly. Problem, he gets home around 11pm every night, and thats on a good night. He goes in at 7am. Seems that there is mass lack of communication, probably because 80% of the work force does not speak English (don't get me started on THAT subject) but also because the 2 main decision makers have no clue what the hell they are doing. About 15% of the work force is salaried, leaving the other 85% making big bucks on overtime. Well, Kevin has been telling them since he started working there that this was going to bite them in the ass...you can't pay people that much overtime and expect to be profitable. Well, seems they finally figured this out and starting monday (hopefully) they are closing up shop at 730pm. This is going to make people get their shit together to get their work done...no more slacking-they all better watch out cause Kevin is a slave driver, and now that he has upper management backing him up on having time limits for loading trucks, he is really going to be pushing people. I wouldn't want to work with kevin, even at home when I am busting my ass and sweating like a hog, he is working circles around me. That is one thing that God blessed him with...the ability to work extremely hard for extremely long hours. He loves pushing his body physically at work and I am glad he gets to do this there, but also exercise his organizational skills (he has nothing on me in this department) but he gets to make them better with practice.
I am just going to be excited to see my husband again! We have seriously gone 3 days without speaking to each other in person because I am in bed before he gets home and out the door before he is even up...it has done wonders for our relationship, but I miss my hubby!!!!

When and when not to stick your nose in it!

Like when your husband hands you the milk jug and says "smell this," when is it appropriate to stick your nose into something if you know it is going to smell bad?
Perdiciment:
It is believed that two members of our "group" are hooking up. Wouldn't be a problem, except one is married. I was told by someone what we all suspected and asked to speak with one of the "guilty" parties since I am close to them. Not sure if I want to. Don't really think it is my place to. I think everyone kind of already knows it is going on and is just looking the other way. If the husband knows, but doesn't want to come to the realization that it IS true, I don't want to be the person to make him look past those rosy glasses. But frankly, I don't want to get in the middle of it...let it run its course, hopefully it will end without a huge mess and all parties will return to their normal lives...that is what I believe will happen. I don't want it to come back on me because I "called someone out" because of some clause in the good friend manual that says I should have a motherly, or concerned friend, conversation with this person. Seriously, I don't care. I don't think less of these people...there is a crazy hippiness about this group of friends...free love type stuff. I don't know why another person thinks it is my duty to have the talk with this person. Im not in high school anymore. If its going on, have fun, be careful, all that happy horse shit...Im going to go shake my pon poms in the corner and pretend I don't see anything going on.
What do you guys think? Is it my place to step in and say something or do I let it ride and play itself out?

Triple threat

Ah, spring...it has hit finally, at least for a day or two. I am so excited. The sun is out, birds are chirping, people are out and about everywhere...this is what makes Ohio worth it. A lot of other states you don't get the changing of seasons. The winter at least gives you something to look forward to.
Had another awesome workout last night. I put up 120 on flat bench. I was so proud of myself. I am starting to feel like my old self again...super confident, strong, respected. I love the fact that the owner treats me like one of the boys. Whenever I walk in, he comes over and chats with me, spots me, asks me to spot him...it feels good. I like lifting hard, grunting, pushing my body to its limits. I love when I turn around and a set of guys are watching me and they comment on the fact that I lift like a guy and have great form. I love that the girls that live on the treadmill, afraid to leave the cardio zone, stare at me, and probably talk amongst themselves about me. Eat it up. In a few more months, my super toned body will be back and you will see why I lift the way I do. I love that some of my old partners from back in the day are up there and that we can still motivate each other. I love that the guys treat me as one of their own. I just love getting back to who I am.
What I don't love is how freakin' insecure women are. My ex-boyfriend lifts at the same time as me. We are ex's for a reason, but we are still friends. He is a power lifter and we talk about different exercises you can do to hit body parts differently. His chick works at the gym and she actually came up to me while I was working out and told me to not talk to HER man. Huh? I didn't realize she owned him. She is gorgeous...I mean gorgeous! Killer body, great face...what do I have right now? About 35 xtra lbs! We aren't talking all sexy like, we aren't going to run off to the bathroom and bang, we are exchanging lifting tips...wow. Why am I such a threat to these women? Do I need to get a shirt that says "I am not here to take your man," or "Im married," or "Im not a threat" ? I don't get it.
Anyways, that just makes me lift harder, that's right, watch me, watch me take my anger out on this bar, machine, dumbbell, whatever. And yes, I will still talk to YOUR man while doing so!

Have a party to go to saturday night. Getting way excited about it. Going to see some friends we haven't seen in a long time! Also going to go help my friend find shoes and jewlery for a wedding. She is so cute she could go naked...jealous...then we are going to go for a walk...she and I signed up to do a marathon (I don't know what I was thinking) and we need to start training asap...the treadmill at the gym just isn't the same as running outside. I don't want to keel over 1/2 mile into the damned thing and die, or have old ladies passing me. Mainly the old lady thing, though I am sure I will get passed by many. Oh well. Its a start to my reclamaition of my old self.
Well off to lunch, yay, plain tuna and hard boiled eggs, again!!!!
Have a great weekend and happy friday!!!!

Heartwarming

Go to youtube and search SUSAN BOYLE. Amazing...

This came from Brandy over at Live-laugh-love
Create a mosiac about you!
Just go to flickr and find pictures based on these questions!
1. Your first name
2. your favorite food
3. your high school
4. your favorite color
5. your celebrity crush
6. your favorite drink
7. your dream vacation
8. your favorite dessert
9. what you wanted to be when you grew up
10. what you love most in life
11. one word that describes who you are


My answers!!
1. Haley-liked this picture mainly because I though it was cute!
2. I love italian food, all italian food!
3. I went to Bellevue Senior High-this is a saying that is on the old high school building, which is now the junior high
4. My favorite color is blue-loved how the blue was set off by the black in this pic
5. my celebrity crush is Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails-he is gorgeous and talented!
6.My favorite drink is iced tea! I can't get enough!
7. My dream vacation is to go to Germany!
8. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Crepes!!!!
9. I wanted to be a dog walker when I grew up...Ihad high aspirations, but looking at this pic makes me want to pursue it!
10. I love my friends and family most in life-they make your world complete!
11. I am STRONG-stong willed, strong minded, strong bodied.

This was a lot of fun!

Easter Maddness!!!

I hope everyone's holiday went well. Mine was busy but a lot of fun.
Saturday, Kevin got home from work early and wanted to do something with friends. So we start calling around and of course, no one in the close vicinity can do anything because they already have plans. So we call our friend in the Cleveland area...sure enough, they are ready to go! We ended up going downtown in Lakewood and had dinner and drinks at this place called MELT...it was super yummy! It was great seeing friends that we don't get to see all that often and just having a chill time with them. The ride home sucked though. We had planned on getting a hotel not too far from our friend's place, but all they had was a smoking room and it stunk bad! So we drove home at 2am...yuck.
Sunday we get up and start doing stuff around the house. We picked up the area where we are going to have our garden and burnt all the limbs that accumulated over the winter from storms and burnt them. Then we began working on our landscaping again. I had planned on just skipping the steinbauer easter since it was Kevin's only day off, but I ended up going over by myself. It was great seeing everyone, even though I was only there an hour. Then it was off to my moms for dinner. Turner was hilarious with the giant easter wheelbarrow my parents got him. He is too cute! He wanted nothing to do with the easter egg hunt my mom was so excited about, but loved the swing until he got cold. I love the faces and noises he makes so much! After waking kevin's lazy butt up off the couch at mom's, we headed back to our place and began again. We got more edging put down and I figure I can get the rest of the edgin put in this week and then get the bisquene down this coming weekend and then the rest of the stone down. We need to replace about 3 plants that didn't make it from last year, but then we will be done!

Ahh...

Today is going to be a good day. I can just feel it! Only a half day of work and I had a great workout yesterday. I did legs and pushed myself to the limit! It was great! I hurt this morning, but it is that really good hurt where you feel like you did something productive and your body is going to respond to it well. Have to say my anger helped a lot with my squats and leg presses...even my old boyfriend from the gym came up and commented that he always loved watching me squat because my form is awesome. I can't help it, proprioception is one thing God gave me. It made me feel good nonetheless.
I slept great and had a fun conversation with my BFF (yes, we call each other our BFF thanks to a radio jockey that called us that when she called in my birthday, its a running joke) on the way to work. We are going bowling tonight and I am excited to hang out with her. It has been too long! She moved about 40 min away and after having her 5 min away for the last 5 years, it sucks! I can't wait to get a 27 though...I suck at bowling but love it.
I also get to go pick up my dog's easter basket from the humane society after work. I am so excited to see it! i just hope I don't walk out with another cat too! Kevin would kick me out for sure! We have a two cat limit in my house, but I fall in love with the furry creatures way too easily! I will let you know what happens!
I am also going to a local shirt shop to get some t-shirts made for my little bro's graduation from boot camp. My BFF, Tiff', has two brothers...one that just completed boot camp for the marines and one that is out to sea with the navy right now. She had really cool shirts made for both graduation ceremonies and I am going to go get some made for my mom, stepdad, Tanner, and I. I figure I can give them to them for their birthday, mother's day, and father's day. I am excited to design something up that is super cool and different from what everyone else has! My friend's shirts were kick ass and stood out from everyone else that had the shirts from the shop on base...I am sure I will get one of those too though.
I hope you all have a happy easter! I am excited to see my family and celebrate my cousin's 1st birthday! Have fun with your children, families, and friends this weekend and eat lots of eggs and become stink bombs!

true beauty

This was my post in response to Wifey and her friends calling me a fat cow and mooing at me, yet mooing, because that is mature. (they all work at Hooters and felt the need to lash out at me for her husband and I ever having a relationship...in College, like 6 years ago!)




True Beauty Current mood: strong
Beauty: 1. the quality attributed to whatever pleases or satisfies in certain ways, as by line, color, form, texture, proportion, rhythmic motion, tone, etc., or by behavior, attitude, etc. 2. a thing having this quality 3. good looks

Vain: 1. having no real value or significance; worthless, empty, idle, hollow 2. having or showing an excessively high regard for one's self; looks, possessions, ability, etc. 3. lacking in sense; foolish

Shallow: lacking depth of character, intellect, or meaning; superficial

Uncouth: uncultured, crude, boorish

It amazes me that even being near the age of 30, an age that one would consider an adult, girls, not women, still resolve to junior high tactics. You feel threatened, you lash out in the only way that you know how-you play the fat card. The only problem with this is that it doesn't bother me. I grew up with a good understanding of my body-I knew at a young age that I wasn't going to be a "skinny" girl. I was well aware of that, when, in junior high I already had a C, almost D, bra cup and wore a size 9. It did not bother me. It did not stop me from doing the things that I wanted to do. I was a cheerleader, living in a world of size "0's" and eating disorders-oh well-didn't bother me a bit. I never felt different, I never felt outcast, I never felt threatened, least of all, I never felt fat. God blessed me with the body I have and I love it, every inch. It seems that some people can't understand how men would be attracted to me. I've never been the drop dead gorgeous girl that had random guys asking her out, instead, I am the cute girl that once you get to know, becomes more and more attractive. It's called a personality. The benefit of this, I didn't go out on too many dates with douche bags who only based their opinion of me on my looks. The drop dead gorgeous girls seem threatened by me-I don't understand it. If you are so beautiful, why would I be a threat? It shows how shallow some people can be-when they can't look past themselves and their stage in life to understand what others have to give and what makes them attractive to others. It is easy to lash out at the person you don't know and blame them for your problems, rather than look at the person you love and truly see them as the person they are. It takes more courage and understanding to get to know that person and find out what that person has that makes them the amazing, unique individual that they are. When Kevin and I split, I was devastated. The simplest thing for me to do was lash out. I learned from my mistakes. I made it a point to get to know the other girl-I wanted to know what he found so attractive in her. It didn't take me long to see what he saw-she is truly a beautiful person, inside and out, and I was lucky and got a great friendship out of it. We developed a mutual respect for each other. We saw what he saw in each of us. So if you think that I am going to feel threatened or hurt by petty, quick-to-judge, junior high tactics, you honestly don't know me. You don't know how strong I am. You don't know that I have more self love than most people have for another person. I don't feel the need to defend myself for what happened, it is the past, get over it. I don't feel the need to apologize in any way, shape, or form. The only thing that I learned from this is that more times than not, beauty truly lies only on the outer appearance. Superficial people lack the depth to see beyond outward appearances, so in turn, they use the only tactics that they know because they have nothing else to use. Look outside yourself and your small world, pull yourself off your pedestal, and look at the big picture. What is the true definition of beauty? Ask yourself that question. Then ask yourself if you got the full story.

Really? No.

What is with men? Why do they think the world revolves around them? And why, after 3 years of silence would you think I would still want you?

So I sent out a mass email to all my contacts on my email account giving an update about my surgery since I had gotten like 10 emails about how I was doing and an old boyfriend from college was still on my contacts list. So he reads this long email about all the shit I have been through and comes back with an email saying, "why are you emailing me. I don't care, send this to someone who does." WTF! I want to drive to Georgia and kick some ass right now. Why even respond if this is how you are going to treat me?
First off, this guy toyed with me for 8 long years. Second, he lied to me about having a WIFE and KID. He would call me almost everyday for years and never mentioned anything about a girl, even though I asked. One night at 1 in the morning my phone rings and it's his number...who's on the other end? His WIFE! (I was single at the time and we were back "on" again, if you can call it that.) She starts threatening me, making it seem like I was pursuing her man, when in reality, he always purued me! So basically it all comes out in the morning that he is married and has a kid, he just thought he could still "play" with me. However, this "gentleman" told his wife that I was pursuing him and always calling him, even though all the last calls came from his phone...hmmm. Nice guy, huh. So I dropped all contact with him, yet I would still get emails from him. This guy is a scum bag and was practically cheating on his wife (we had plans to see each other 2 weeks from the last phone call,) yet he made me out to be the terrible person. So, long story short, I hate this guy now and I am pissed that I ever wasted my time on him.
So needless to say, I was more than a little pissed when I got that message. To top it off, his little wifey sends me a message on my myspace telling me to back off. Huh? Seriously? Go hump a tree. I am furious right now.
Did you not read the email? Did it say anything about you? No! Get over yourself. It was a mistake, believe me, a HUGE mistake. And if he didn't catch it, I mentioned my husband several times in the email...I hate ignorant, self-centered assholes. I will have to post a blog from my myspace on here about the comments his wife was making about me. I think its funny, I am sure you all will too.
GRRR. NEED TO GO TO GYM NOW TO PUMP OUT MY ANGER!!!!!

Resolution

So I am feeling much better today, even though it is snowing again outside, and this time sticking. We will be delivering a BRAND SPANKING NEW hospital bed and wheelchair to the lady in my blog yesterday. I am excited and feel accomplished. I was so excited when I got to call the son and let him know. He sounded so happy and relieved. She will have it all by thursday.

Mark approached me this morning before work and wanted to know what I was so upset about. I let him have it. I let him know exactly what I think of him as a coworker. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy, he just doesn't give a damn.

Im past that though. I had my piece with my boss, gave her all the documentation to write him up and it is out of my hands. I made the situation better and that is all I care about. THE PATIENT GOT WHAT SHE NEEDED!

I have lost 3 lbs and several inches. I am excited about that. I have been to the gym everyday since I got my membership and I feel so much better. My body hasn't made any changes yet really, my belly still jiggles when I pose in front of the mirror while waiting for the water in my shower to heat up, but my jeans are a little looser. Im happy.

Someone tried to break into my mother's house on saturday night. They were not able to get in and mom scared them away, but they did manage to break into a house just 3 houses away. This past summer, an elderly man (who was the sweetest guy in the world) was beat to death while trying to stop a breakin at his home. They never caught the guy. His wife had to play dead to keep her life. It scares me. I can see this man's house from my back yard and my parent's house is only 1/2 mile away. I hate living in fear. Kevin taught me how to shoot a while ago, so no problems there, and after talking to a cop friend, I was told if someone breaks in to not hesitate and shoot the asshole. There are now laws that protect the homeowners instead of the criminals. The criminal can no longer sue you for injury and the family of the criminal can not sue for death. I am thankful that this is now in affect. I hate having to sleep with a loaded gun beside my bed though. But I will do what I have to do. Lord help him if he tries to break in to our home while my husband and I are home. I thought the country was supposed to be safe?! I just worry mainly about my mother being home by herself. I hope they find this asshole and put his ass in jail for a very long time.

on a lighter note

One good thing about this past weekend is that I got to talk to my lil bro', Joe, who is down at Fort Benning, Ga. We talked for about an hour and it is good to hear that he loves it so far and hasn't lost his sense of humor. Can't wait to see him in May! Yes, this is who will be protecting our country!

Frustrating day

First off, it is snowing...it is April 6th, yesterday it was 60* at 2pm. WTF!
Second, I am ready to scream out loud at work. When I left work back in FEB!!!, I left only 6 orders to be taken care of. Everything else was finished. One order, that I got the day before I left, was for a hospital bed repair. No one likes doing repairs because they are time consuming and require a lot of footwork. I had gotten the order from the doc, the parts that were needed listed, started to get documentation for the items, and the insurance process going. Do you think it is done? No.
I get a call this morning from the son asking about it (his poor mom is sleeping on a mattress stuffed full of towels.) I was shocked when he asked where we were with it. I asked my boss what was going on and of course she knew nothing and all my paperwork had disappeared. I do some investigating and find that my coworker who took over my jobs (who is in puerto rico because her grandmother died) gave it to the slowest, least follow thru worker we have. He had not touched it since march 2nd. I am pissed. I instantly lose it and ask him what the hell his problem is. Does he realize how bad the bed is? Did he not read my notes? He had not even ordered the items?! I would have done this before I left, but I was waiting for our inventory guy to build them in our system. So, I took the order back, called the son and grovelled and ordered the parts. I am beyond pissed. Did my boss have anything to say? Nope, just the usual..."well, you know how mark is..." I looked at her and said "this is bullshit." It makes me want to find another job. Why would I want to work my ass off for patients to have some other dumbass ruin our good name because he is lazy?! I seriously wanted to just jack him in the balls and when he finally starts to get up, do it again! I just picture this poor woman laying in a bed 23 hours a day that is falling apart and uncomfortable.
There are days that I hate my coworkers, today is one of them. What bothers me most is that he showed no concern, no remorse, couldn't even call the patient and apologize. Where is the integrity?! When I mess up, I say it and apologize repeatedly. OUR JOBS AFFECT A PERSONS HEALTH, AFFECTS IF A PERSON LIVES COMFORTABLY OR NOT WHEN THEY ARE ALREDY SHELLS OF THEMSELVES! WHAT IS SO HARD TO GET ABOUT THAT!
DO YOUR JOB, DO IT QUICKLY, AND DO IT CORRECLTY. THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE PAID TO DO, DUMBASS!

Thanks for listening

FREE AT LAST!!!

I had my follow up appointment yesterday with the doc. First off, I normally wait almost 2 hours from my time of appointment til I actally see the doctor and this time it was only a 30 min wait! The office girls were joking that I was going to pass out because of the shock. In all reality, I almost did. I had already gathered up all the newsweeks in the office, since that is the only other magazine that they carry aside from Parents. Sorry, I just have no desire to read about parenting while sitting in an office with a roomful of pregnant ladies, old women with too much perfume on, and teenagers that look too young to have sex, but I know they are there to get on birth control. So, I was relieved when they called me early!
I get back to the room and went through the only painful examination I have ever underwent. I didn't realize how sore I was down there until he put the speculum in. Ouch! And I have an extremely high pain tolerance! But everything was quick and he said I am 100% healed and that everything down there looks "beautiful," yes beautiful is the word he used. It made me feel good! Haha!
He gave me an all clear to resume intercourse, but sorry Kevin, you are going to have to wait. And don't think he didn't come home expecting to get some. He seemed understanding, but bummed. He will get over it. He still has plenty of lotion left. Im so mean. But I refuse to lay there in pain as he pumps away. Knowing me, I would punch him in the face and it would cause a big ol' fight....so he can just suck it up for another week or so.
I only have to go back for "paps" once a year now. Im not really sure what they scrape, but whatever. Once I have 5 clean ones I will only have to go every 3 years! I am way excited about that. The doctor is confident that he has gotten everything, so I am feeling so much more relieved!